EHBA News

Full Court Press: May 2011 Cover (Championship Early Edition)

2011-04-17T18:46:00.002-04:00

Full Court Press: April 2011 Cover

2011-04-04T15:03:00.000-04:00

Full Court Press: March 2011 Cover

2011-03-21T12:23:00.001-04:00

PEORIA FREE PRESS - JOHN WALL

2010-11-08T16:04:00.004-05:00

After the drafting of John Wall, the Peoria Bricklayers seem poised to rebound from an embarrassing 2009/10 campaign.

Full Court Press: September 2010 Covers

2010-09-21T13:27:00.013-04:00

Full Court Press: June 2010

2010-06-20T22:16:00.001-04:00

FCP: Record Tracker / Magic Numbers (Week 21)

2010-03-15T13:12:00.014-04:00

With the final week of play in the 2009/2010 regular season upon us, and so many teams still in the hunt for those final three playoff spots, FCP presents to you a special Final Week edition of Record Tracker, including playoff scenarios and magic numbers. Chris Paul doesn't look to return until the end of next week so the Lizards are really hoping for a strong final push at a bye, but Bridgewater is in the driver's seat.

Record Tracker / Magic Numbers (Week 21)
By: Max Powers; Full Court Press

Three team have clinched and fight over the top two spots while five other teams battle it out for the three open spots still available. Only four teams sit on the outside, with two of them hoping to play spoiler int he final week of play. With Peoria and Dublin already clinching the first and second picks in next year's draft respectively (and in one case a new winning % record) look for them to hold nothing back in Week 21 as they help add to the excitement for a change.

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Magic Numbers / Playoff Scenarios

1.) Tokyo Vegans
109-67-4 (111.0 pts)
Magic Number - Clinched playoff spot (At least the 3rd seed)
Magic Number to clinch first round BYE - 5.0; Top Seed: 6.0
Final opponent: South Carolina Rebels

The Vegans have the formality of solidifying the top seed this week, with a match up against the streaking Rebels. The number one seed gets to face the winner of the 4/5 match up fro the first round, which is yet to be officially determined but with the Week 21 match ups as they are it would not be a surprise to see Rakeville and Colorado in those seeds, with the winner facing off against the Vegans in the second round.

2.) Bridgewater Phenoms
105-70-5 (107.5 pts)
Magic Number - Clinched playoff spot (At least the 3rd seed)
Magic Number to clinch first round BYE - 8.5
Final Opponent: Dublin Bar Brawlers

The second seed, and final first round bye is still anyone's game, but the Phenoms hold most of the cards heading into the final week. They face off against the young Brawlers who have already clinched their coveted 2nd overall draft pick for next year's draft. With nothing to lose, Dublin may come out firing, giving the Phenoms something to fight for but with Vegas going up against Tijuana, the defending champs, look for Bridgewater to hold onto the final bye and possibly face Vegas in the 2nd round.

3.) Las Vegas Lizards
105-72-3 (106.5 pts)
Magic Number - Clinched playoff spot (At least the 3rd seed)
Final Opponent: Tijuana Matadors

The Lizards came into the season with dulled expectations and high hopes. They fought most of the season to hold onto one of the top two spots, but with the loss of star point guard Chris Paul their hold has been chipped away each and every week. They have clinched no lower than the 3rd seed in the playoffs, but with Paul not expecting to return until the end of next week, Vegas would really like that first week to rest up. None the less, they are expected to stay in the 3-hole and face off against the likes of either South Carolina, Montreal, or Tijuana, whom they end their regular season against in Week 21.

4.) Colorado Bears
95-82-3 (96.5 pts)
Magic Number - 5.0
Final Opponent: Rakeville Crows

Colorado, though hasn't clinched a playoff spot officially, has already put aside hotel rooms for the team they'll be hosting in the first round of the playoffs. The Bears should probably be hosting Rakeville once again, as the two face off in the final week and should probably tire each other out to a final score of around 5-4. Prediction: who ever wins the Week 21 match up, will lose the first round playoff rematch.

5.) Rakeville Crows
93-85-2 (94.0 pts)
Magic Number - 7.0
Final Opponent: Colorado Bears

Ya, sure, the Crows are only half a point up on the Rebels in the standings, but who's counting? Rakeville sure is, knowing they can easily be kicked out of the playoff race, never mind knocked down from the 5th overall seed. All their hard work in the second half of the season could be all for not with one bad week, but don't expect it. The Crows match up well against anyone out there, and as much as the rest of the playoff squad would rather see the Rebels in the playoffs than the Crows, look for Rakeville to squash those dreams and ride their own to a second round match up against Tokyo.

6.) South Carolina Rebels
92-85-3 (93.5 pts)
Magic Number - 7.5
Final Opponent: Tokyo Vegans

Just a few weeks ago South Carolina sat comfortably in 10th place, announcing how terrible they thought they were to the world. How things have changed. With 5 straight wins, albeit against all teams currently in the bottom half of the standings besides Colorado, the Rebels find themselves with a rejuvenated spirit and confidence about them. That new confidence will surely be tested in their final week against Tokyo. The possibility of finally put themselves in a position to may the playoffs after weeks and months of sitting in the bottom half, just to be kicked out in the final week of play has got to be stressful, not to mention that even if they make it out alive and live to play another week, they'll get matched up against one of Bridgewater, Las Vegas, or even rematch against Tokyo. Their best case scenario would be that Colorado blows out Rakeville, Tokyo goes easy on them, and they sneak their way into the 5th seed. Stranger things have happened. Right?

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7.) Tijuana Matadors
92-87-1 (92.5 pts)
Cursed Number - 8.5
Final Opponent: Las Vegas Lizards

From a solid 4th seeded team and on the brink of jumping to number three, to a bubble team hoping for a break in the final week. The defending champs are in a difficult situation, a similar one their Week 21 opponent, the Lizards, found themselves in this time last year: they're too good to drop too far in the standings to grab a better draft pick but may not be good enough to make the jump into the playoffs. Week 21 will tell for the Matadors, who need a good week against Vegas, who are on their own bubble fighting it out. With the Rebels going up against the Vegans the Matadors have a shot, it's just too bad Montreal, who is only a half point back from them, has the luxury of visiting Peoria in the final week.

8.) Montreal DeathPiggys
90-86-4 (92.0 pts)
Cursed Number - 8.0
Final Opponent: Peoria Bricklayers

Don't let the standings fool you - Montreal is a playoff team. Always has been, and for the foreseeable future, always will be. It may have seemed like they've succeeded in dropping to the bottom of the barrel in order to solidify a better draft pick in next year's draft, but they've saved the best for last: a final week match up against the new "worst team in EHBA history"*. The Piggys look to jump over Tijuana and South Carolina in the final week to grab that number six seed, much to their dissapointment, because even though Montreal has the capability of winning eah and every week against any opponent, they are well aware they probably wouldn't make it out of the first round at this point and would much rather have that 5th overall draft pick in order to fight for a bye in the 2011 playoffs rather than fighting for the 6th seed in the 2010 playoffs. They're just have to fight for both.

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Record Tracker 2009/2010

Below is a list of records broken during the 2009/10 season, along with the current leaders in each category and what they would need in the final week to break the record...

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Season-Long Record Watch:

FG%
Current Record: .487 (LV - 2007/08)
2009/10 Leader: .482 (FIT) - On Pace For: .482

FT%
Current Record: .818 (DUB - 2007/08)
2009/10 Leader: .802 (TKO) - On Pace For: .800

3PTM
Current Record: 892 (DUB - 2007/08)
2009/10 Leader: 786 (COL) - On Pace For: 825
Needed to Break: 106

PTS
Current Record: 13,091 (BRW - 2008/09)
2009/10 Leader: 12,419 (TKO) - On Pace For: 13,040
Needed to Break: 672

REB
Current Record: 5133 (COL - 2007/08)
2009/10 Leader: 4828 (TKO) - On Pace For: 5069
Needed to Break: 305

AST
Current Record: 2744 (TIJ - 2008/09)
2009/10 Leader: 2529 (BRW) - On Pace For: 2655
Needed to Break: 215

ST
Current Record: 899 (MTL - 2007/08)
2009/10 Leader: 862 (COL) - On Pace For: 905
Needed to Break: 37

BLK
Current Record: 651 (RAK - 2007/08)
2009/10 Leader: 610 (LV) - On Pace For: 640
Needed to Break: 41

TO
Current Record: 1160 (COL - 2008/09)
2009/10 Leader: 1226 (DUB) - On Pace For: 1287
CANNOT BE BROKEN THIS SEASON

HIGHEST WINNING %
Current Record: .619 (TIJ - 2008/09)
2009/10 Leader: .617 (TKO) - On Pace For: .617
Needed to Tie: 6 win (or equivalent); Needed to Break: 6.5 wins (or equivalent)

LOWEST WINNING %
Current Record: .352 (COL - 2008/09)
2009/10 Leader: .317 (PEO) - On Pace For: .317
PEORIA HAS ALREADY CLINCHED THE RECORD (The highest winning % they can have at the end of the regular season is .349)*

*Yes, I know mathematically there's still a possibility that Dublin is crowned the "new worst team in EHBA History" but c'mon.

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Current Unbeaten/Winless Streaks**....

LONGEST UNBEATEN STREAK RECORD:
Current Record: 8 Weeks (LV/MTL - 2007/08)

Active Streaks***:
BRW: 5 Unbeaten Weeks
SC: 5 Unbeaten Weeks
LV: 2 Unbeaten Weeks
TKO: 2 Unbeaten Weeks
TIJ: 2 Unbeaten Weeks
COL: 1 Unbeaten Weeks

LONGEST WINLESS STREAK RECORD:
Current Record: 13 Weeks (PEO - 2008/09)

Active Streaks***:
PEO: 9 Winless Weeks
MTL: 4 Winless Weeks
DUB: 3 Winless Weeks
WEY: 2 Unbeaten Weeks
FIT: 2 Unbeaten Weeks
RAK: 1 Unbeaten Weeks

**With only one week left, neither of these records can be broken this season. Streaks will carry over to the start of the 2010/2011 regular season.
***Streaks include regular season match ups only.

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Weekly records tied/broken during 2009/10 season****:

3PTM: COL - 61 (Week 1)
ST: COL - 59 (Week 3)*****
BLK: RAK - 45 (Week 13)
REB: TIJ - 317 (Week 14)
FG%: PEO - .539 (Week 15)
ST: BRW - 63 (Week 18)*****

****Any and all records tied or broken during the shortened NBA All-Star Week do not count in the EHBA record books.
*****COL first set a new Weekly Steals record in Week 3 of the 2009/10 season, only to have it broken 15 weeks later by BRW

Full Court Press: Magic Numbers/Power Rankings (Week 19)

2010-03-02T15:13:00.019-05:00

As the stars of Las Vegas stay home nursing injuries, and the star of Weymouth sits on the outside of the playoff picture looking in, two stars of are pushing their teams into the spotlight. Steve Nash (RAK) and Kobe Bryant (BRW) are the main reasons their teams are as dominant as they are.

Are The Stars Lining Up?
By: Max Powers and Alexander Marquez Alejandro; Full Court Press

Just 3 weeks ago the Bridgewater Phenoms sat in 6th place, barely holding onto the final playoff spot in the EHBA standings. They were even written off as being one of the odd men out in a tight race that involved all but 2 teams. Now the Phenoms sit in the number two hole in the standings, at the expense of the Las Vegas Lizards, in control of getting one of the two coveted first round byes in the playoffs, immunity if you will, if just for one week. Dana Barros hasn't been the most active GM in the league, but he's held fast on giving up too early and it's paying off late in the season. He's squashed rumor after rumor that star Kobe Bryant was on the move, one that he started himself during the 2009 draft. The Phenoms now sit that much closer to the top of the standings, thanks in part to Bryant, who, despite being a known rapist*, has carried them this far, and hopes to carry them deep into the playoffs.

At the other end of the playoff picture sits the Rakeville Crows, who were written off back in Week 4, only to be resurrected and then anointed as "the best team in the EHBA" three weeks later. After 18 long weeks they finally hold a playoff spot in the standings, at the expense of the Tijuana Matadors who have been knocked out of the top six after securely holding their own for weeks. Crows GM Tim Legler also squashed rumors of their star, Steve Nash, being traded. The team has been very fickle about their intentions on trading their star in the past, at one point offering up the star for multiple 1st round draft picks, then declining that exact offer shortly after, but though the deadline is only a few days away, there is no indication that Nash will be headed anywhere but the Rakeville bus when the Crows inevitably travel from city to city through the playoffs. They may technically start the playoffs as underdogs, but there's not one team that wants to host them in the first round. Or the second for that matter.

*Yeah, yeah, he was acquitted, fuck you. We all know he raped that chick.

Magic Numbers (Week 19)
By: Max Powers; Full Court Press

1.) Tokyo Vegans
96-62-4 (98.0 pts)
Magic Number - 11.5 (4 wins/week)
Magic Number to clinch first round BYE - 23.0 (7.5 wins/week)
Remaining Schedule: MON/DUB/SC

The Vegans look like they're trying to make the race for the two BYEs more interesting. They've been unable to make a trade for a top point guard, and looks like they'll have to settle on Sergio Rodriguez's new roll to help them in the final weeks. Tokyo fans aren't too worried however. With the final three week opponents being a falling Montreal squad, a young Dublin roster, and a questionable Rebels team, they should easily hold onto one of the BYEs heading into the playoffs.

2.) Bridgewater Weasels
92-66-4 (94.0 pts)
Magic Number - 15.5 (5 wins/week)
Magic Number to clinch first round BYE - 27 (9 wins/week)
Remaining Schedule: COL/MTL/DUB

Out of nowhere the Phenoms have personified their team name in the past few weeks. Kobe, Harrington, and Iguodala have lead the team to the promise of a first round bye after barely holding onto the 6th playoff seed just 3 weeks ago. It just proves that the race is closer than anyone thought, and any team can end up anywhere in the standings. Regardless, Bridgewater is currently in the drivers seat heading into the final three weeks.

3.) Las Vegas Lizards
92-67-3 (93.5 pts)
Magic Number - 16.0 (5 wins/week)
Remaining Schedule: WEY/FIT/TIJ

The Lizards have gone all in this season to try and win a championship, but they've sputtered the last few weeks. Their remaining schedule is very favorable, with games against free-falling Weymouth and a struggling Fitchburg team, before closing out against a Tijuana squad that's been making some more savvy moves leading up to the deadline. They should cruise against the Dumpster Divers, but watch out for Fitchburg, whose games always seem to end 5-4. They'll need the cushion of a couple of blowouts before finishing against the defending champs. Considering Bridgewater closes it out against Dublin, the race for the bye will come right down to the wire.

4.) Montreal DeathPiggys
86-73-3 (87.5 pts)
Magic Number - 22.0 (7 wins/week)
Remaining Schedule: TKO/BRW/PEO

Those pesky piggys just won't go away. Try as they might to trade away "win-now" type players, Montreal has stayed on pace to win now. They may have hit some pockets of resistance in the past few weeks, but they can't seem to budge from the middle of the playoff pack, as teams below them do better, and teams above them get worse. They may have two difficult weeks ahead of them (vs TKO and vs BRW), but since they close out the season against already eliminated Peoria, the playoffs seem like their destiny, and try as they might, they can't fight destiny.

5.) Colorado Bears
85-74-3 (86.5 pts)
Magic Number - 23.0 (7.5 wins/week)
Remaining Schedule: BRW/PEO/RAK

Last week the Bears were worried they had mortgaged their 2010 draft for the number 7 seed. After a 7-2 blow out against the top seeded team, Colorado's confidence has skyrocketed. They get the pleasure of proving themselves this week against the surging Phenoms, a break against the Bricklayers, and then put it all on the line against the Crows, which could end being the match up of the year, with both teams with everything to win/lose.

6.) Rakeville Crows
83-77-2 (84.0 pts)
Magic Number - 25.5 (8.5 wins/week)
Remaining Schedule: FIT/TIJ/COL

The best team in the EHBA finally squeaked into the playoff picture, thanks largely to a Tijuana meltdown at the hands of Phenoms last week. The cream of the crap has finally risen above it all and has really got to be the most feared team in the top 6 right now. Don't let their record fool you (they're actually just 4-4 against other current playoff bound teams this season), Rakeville will be a scary team if they can hold onto their playoff spot. It'll be fun to watch their final two match ups against other borderline teams fighting for that spot. Don't expect the Crows to be the odd team out however.

Power Rankings (Week 19)
By: Alexander Marquez Alejandro; Full Court Press

1. Bridgewater - I'll be honest--I have no idea how they're doing it. The team looks not so great on paper, but they keep on rolling.

2. Tokyo - Smackdown to Colorado last week notwithstanding, they still look like the team to beat in the playoffs.

3. Las Vegas - No longer control their own destiny, but still well-positioned to make a run in the playoffs. They may actually be better off in the 4th seed if they can't get the Bye though; Rakeville would be a crappy reward for the 3rd seed.

4. Colorado - It was big trouble in Little Tokyo for the Vegans last week, as the Bears showed that their previous struggles are behind them.

5. Rakeville - Everyone in Tokyo was bummed to see them get back into the playoff chase against Las Vegas. Too bad those custom made 'NASH' Vegan jerseys aren't refundable.

6. Tijuana - Team is a little top-heavy with Butler, Terry, Marion, Kidd, and Haywood all playing big minutes, but they should still make the playoffs. Clash with Rakeville next week will be huge.

7. Montreal - I don't know how they're staying afloat. With games against Tokyo and Bridgewater, you have to think they're finished...but then along comes Peoria to close out the season. Despite Jackie Moon's best efforts, they may be playoff-bound after all.

8. South Carolina - Hard to get too excited about the win over Montreal, but it's a favorable schedule the next two weeks. With a little luck, they could end up in the playoff hunt. It's a shame it might come down to a few categories here and there, since their coach has failed to update his lineup multiple times, costing them those precious wins.

9. Fitchburg - They seem to be in every game, but they just seal the deal. They needed a blowout against Peoria, but just barely escaped with a win. Looks like it's just not going to happen for them this year.

10. Weymouth - Ouch. LeBron can make a turd look pretty nice, but apparently only for about four weeks.

11. Dublin - The youngsters can be frisky on any given night.

12. Peoria - Apparently Rip Hamilton is available...

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League Notes:

-The Peoria Bricklayers were mathematically eliminated from playoff contention after their Week 18 loss to Fitch Foo Fighters, the latest in a season Peoria has stayed in the playoff chase!**

-The DeathPiggys traded away PF/C Mehmet Okur this week. When questioned about it, GM Jackie Moon responded, "It's no secret I've always hated Serbians." When told that Okur was actually Turkish, Moon cried out, "Good God, what have I done?!!?"

-Tokyo has been surprisingly inactive in the trade market so far this year, leading some to speculate...something something time zones. There's a joke in there.**

**probably

Full Court Press: Cursed Numbers (Week 17)

2010-02-15T23:21:00.009-05:00

As Lebron James contemplates his future in Weymouth, the rest of the team sits on the Divers' trade block. The bottom teams seem to be fighting it out for the top 6 draft picks, rather than making a run into the playoffs. Where does your team stand?

Cursed Numbers (Week 17)
By: Jameson McStout and Max Powers

The season is coming closer and closer to an end. With just 5 weeks left the playoff picture is starting to clear up in a way that shows the teams that may be left behind. For such teams it may be time to start looking toward the 2010/11 season, so let's take a look at where the bottom of the league is headed...

7.) Rakeville Crows
70-72-2 (71.0 pts)
Cursed Number - 39.5 (8 losses/week)
Remaining Schedule: WEY/LV/FIT/TIJ/COL

So, Rakeville isn't exactly out of the playoff picture, and they can afford to at least wait until the final week before the trade deadline before packing it in, but things aren't looking good for the Crows after a slow, injury riddled start to the season. The issue is that, as good as they have been, everyone above them hasn't gotten any worse. They'd hold their own against any of the top 6, it's just a matter of getting there, and with a schedule that includes stops against 3 current playoff teams, it's not going to be an easy road.
2009/10 Team Equivalent: Las Vegas Lizards
Expected Draft Position: 6

8.) Weymouth Dumpsta Divers
69-71-4 (39.5 pts)
Cursed Number - 39.5 (8 losses/week)
Remaining Schedule: RAK/DUB/LV/SC/FIT

LeBron is getting an early idea of what life might be like if he signs with the Knicks next year - no matter what he does, his team is stuck in mediocrity. With a reliance on some older players, one has to wonder if the window has shut on the current squad. Upper management seems to think so, making the whole roster available outside of James. There are some intriguing players on the roster, with proven players such as Parker and Bargnani, and youngsters like Bynum and Thompson. However, beyond them, the rest of the roster is some what of a mystery. One has to wonder that no matter how good LeBron plays, if his cast will be strong enough next year... You hear that LeBron? Unless you had fun this year, stay away from the Knicks.
2009/10 Team Equivalent: Weymouth Dumpsta Divers
Expected Draft Position: 4

9.) South Carolina Rebels
69-75-0 (69.0 pts)
Cursed Number - 37.5 (7.5 losses/week)
Remaining Schedule: COL/MTL/DUB/WEY/TKO

South Carolina has made the fewest moves of any team in the league, making only 5 waiver moves and one trade. This is somewhat understandable, because a look at the roster and it would have been laughable if at the beginning of the season someone said the Rebels would be tied for third to last, 21 games out. The early season trade did not help, though they received Carmelo Anthony, Josh Smith has been his typical dominant self, and Randolph has been a revelation in Memphis. Sheed?? Not so much. That, coupled with under performances by Westbrook, Diaw, and even Howard has really hurt South Carolina this season. They have a star studded nucleus in Melo, Howard, and Nowitzki, and young up and comers in Mayo and Westbrook, adding a top 5 pick to this team should give the Rebels and chance to get back near the top next season.
2009/10 Team Equivalent: Dublin Bar Brawlers
Expected Draft Position: 3

10.) Fitch Foo Fighters
68-74-2 (69.0 pts)
Cursed Number - 37.5 (7.5 losses/week)
Remaining Schedule: BRW/PEO/RAK/LV/WEY

For a team that has almost no hopes to competing this year, you have to question some of the decisions made by the front office. Trading away what could end up being a top 3 pick for Ben Gordon, a shooting guard whose numbers could be closely matched by a player off the waiver wire. Just looking at the roster, Ben has to be viewed a fringe keeper, not the right use for such a valuable asset. Any team with a core of Wade, Rondo, Boozer and Noah can be built into a contender with the right personnel decisions, though the loss of that first will make that very difficult for next year.
2009/10 Team Equivalent: South Carolina Rebels
Expected Draft Position: 5 (1st Round DP currently owned by MTL)

11.) Dublin Bar Brawlers
51-93-0 (51.0 pts)
Cursed Number - 19.5 (4 losses/week)
Remaining Schedule: MTL/WEY/SC/TKO/BRW

Injuries and youth are the major factors for the demise of Dublin this season. It is also looking very unlikely that they will fall below Peoria and lose out on the John Wall sweeps. They picked up a second first rounder for Deng, and at the same time added a lottery ticket off the wire in Rickey Rubio. Management still feels they have some pieces that will be worth something to contending teams at the trade deadline, like Jameer Nelson and possibly Tracy McGrady (if he's able to do something on the court). With a young core of Jennings, Curry, Marc Gasol, Beasley, Griffen and a possibly healthy Oden, you have to like the future of this team, even if it might not be realized next year.
2009/10 Team Equivalent: Colorado Bears
Expected Draft Position: 2

12.) Peoria Bricklayers
43-98-3 (44.5 pts)
Cursed Number - 13.0 (2.5 losses/week)
Remaining Schedule: LV/FIT/TIJ/COL/MTL

What can you say about this team? They have been one of the more active teams in terms of trades, being part of three of the seasons' ten trades that include players. One of those trades, that sent point guard Derek Rose and PF Troy Murphy to Colorado with SF Rudy Gay and C Andris Biedrins coming back, caused such an uproar that the commissioner created a Trade Review Council. Lost in everything was that Peoria did receive the most complete player in the deal in Gay, and a very young, promising center. The core of the team going forward, Williams, Gay, Lee, Arenas and Yao is very strong, and while they will most likely be adding Wall next fall, the bottom of their 8 man roster has some question marks, and try as they might to garner another 1st round draft pick before the trade deadline, Rip Hamilton isn't going to do it for them and they may have to wait until the 2nd round to fill the rest of their holes, but I'm sure there's a possibility Josh Howard or Shaquille O'Neal will be available with their pick).
2009/10 Team Equivalent: Peoria Bricklayers
Expected Draft Position: 1

Full Court Press: Magic Numbers (Week 16)

2010-02-08T17:21:00.007-05:00

It's never too early to start thinking about playoff implications, especially with the trade deadline looming in a few weeks. Luol Deng will probably be on the move away from Dublin before then, giving one playoff contending team an added boost. Where does your team stand?

Magic Numbers (Week 16)
By: Max Powers/Full Court Press

With just 6 weeks left in the regular season, no team has clinched a playoff spot in the EHBA, but there's a bit clearer picture developing near the top of the standings. Here's a break down of the current top 6 teams and what can be expected from them moving forward.

1.) Tokyo Vegans
84-48-3 (85.5 pts)
Magic Number - 38 (6 wins/week)
Remaining Schedule: FIT/TIJ/COL/MON/DUB/SC

The Vegans hit a snag in Week 15 with a 3-6 loss to the Lizards, but should bounce back nicely against the Foo Fighters. With a combination of wins and Weymouth/Rakeville losses, look for them to clinch a playoff spot before their final two games (and if not, their final two games are against Dublin and South Carolina, so they're probably pretty safe)
Estimated Week to clinch playoff spot: Week 19
Expected Playoff Seed: 1

2.) Las Vegas Lizards
82-51-2 (83.0 pts)
Magic Number - 40 (7 wins/week)
Remaining Schedule: BRW/PEO/RAK/WEY/FIT/TIJ

The Chris Paul-less Lizards gave themselves a big boost with a win against the Vegans but may be on the short end of the short-week stick this week against Bridgewater. With Paul out and guards Thornton and Iverson questionable, the Lizards will be a bit shorthanded against a high scoring Phenom roster. Still, look for them to take advantage of the match ups against Peoria, Weymouth, and Fitch.
Estimated Week to clinch playoff spot: Week 19
Expected Playoff Seed: 2

3.) Tijuana Matadors
74-61-0 (74.0 pts)
Magic Number - 49 (8 wins/week)
Remaining Schedule: SC/TKO/BRW/PEO/RAK/LV

Don't let the wins needed per week number fool you, the Matadors are much better than their record. A slow start to the season puts them in the number three hole, but their strong play in the second half should continue as the season comes to a close. With a match up against Peoria coming at the perfect time (Week 19), expect the Matadors to make playoff plans shortly after.
Estimated Week to clinch playoff spot: Week 20
Expected Playoff Seed: 3

4.) Montreal DeathPiggys
72-61-2 (73.0 pts)
Magic Number - 50 (8.5 wins/week)
Remaining Schedule: WEY/DUB/SC/TKO/BRW/PEO

Try as they might to drop, the DeathPiggys continue to stay in the playoff pack. After trading away two of their best big men, the Montreal fan base has expected a quick plummet to the bottom half of the standings. A combination of strong play and "good" luck has kept them in the playoff picture, and with a very favorable schedule to end the season (match ups against Weymouth, Dublin, South Carolina, and Peoria), look for the DeathPiggys to squeak out a playoff berth close to the end of the regular season.
Estimated Week to clinch playoff spot: Week 21
Expected Playoff Seed: 6

5.) Colorado Bears
71-61-3 (72.5 pts)
Magic Number - 50.5 (8.5 wins/week)
Remaining Schedule: DUB/SC/TKO/BRW/PEO/RAK

The Bears have been an up and down team in the last few weeks. They are 4-4 in their last 8 weeks and can't seem to get a decent winning streak going, but stand to be a formidable opponent each and every week, never winning less than 3 categories in any week this season (5 of their 8 losses were decided by just one category). Rumor has it the Bears are looking to add at least one more piece before the trade deadline. The quicker they do that the quicker they should find a spot in the playoffs with their name on it.
Estimated Week to clinch playoff spot: Week 20
Expected Playoff Seed: 4

6.) Bridgewater Phenoms
71-62-2 (72.0 pts)
Magic Number - 51 (8.5 wins/week)
Remaining Schedule: LV/FIT/TIJ/COL/MTL/DUB

The Phenoms may find themselves the beneficiary of teams giving up and playing for next year, keeping them in the middle of the playoff picture. With Weymouth dropping and looking to part ways with some of their veteran play makers and Montreal still trying to drop in the standings, though failing to do so quickly, Bridgewater finds themselves in a limbo-like situation. The X-factor here is a strong Rakeville roster than may find a way to put it all together and make a 6-week run and bump Bridgewater out. The Phenoms do not have a favorable schedule to end the season, with match ups against Las Vegas, Tijuana, Colorado, and Montreal. The final week may be their best shot, but expect the bar Brawlers to bring everything they can to play spoiler.
Estimated Week to clinch playoff spot: Not Expected
Expected Playoff Seed: 7

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Well, mathematically speaking, no teams have been eliminated from playoff contention, but of the 12 teams, 2 of them have made a pretty solid case. Here are the two most prevalent Cursed Numbers, the amount of losses needed to officially eliminate a team from playoff contention:

12.) Peoria Bricklayers
40-92-3 (41.5 pts)
Cursed Number - 24 (4 losses/week)
Remaining Schedule: RAK/LV/FIT/TIJ/COL/MTL

The Bricklayers are not only looking to solidify not making the playoffs, but to also guarantee the first overall draft pick int he 2010 EHBA Draft. With just 24 more losses needed and matchups against Rakeville, Las Vegas, and Tijuana on the horizon, not making the playoffs shouldn't be too difficult, and with the Bar Brawlers officially stating that they'd rather have the second overall draft pick, solidifying John Wall on their 2010/11 roster should be pretty easy as well.
Estimated Week to be eliminated from playoff contention: Week 19
Expected Playoff Seed: 12

11.) Dublin Bar Brawlers
46-89-0 (46.0 pts)
Cursed Number - 28.5 (5 losses/week)
Remaining Schedule: COL/MTL/WEY/SC/TKO/BRW

Are the Brawlers happy with how their season has gone? No. Do they plan on giving up? No. They won't make the playoffs but the Dublin roster will play hard for the final 6 weeks, even after they are mathematically eliminated from contention. They probably can't climb any higher than where they currently are in the standings, and with Peoria playing as poorly as they are the Brawlers probably can't drop either without noticeably tanking, which is not their style. Look for them to try their hardest to play spoiler the rest of the season.
Estimated Week to be eliminated from playoff contention: Week 20
Expected Playoff Seed: 11

Full Court Press: Power Rankings (Week 12)

2010-01-21T13:14:00.007-05:00

Kevin Martin returned to the Dublin line up this past week. Something tells me it wasn't enough to bump them out of the bottom spot of the rankings, but check for yourself...

Power Rankings:
1.) Tokyo (-) - Not going to lose the top spot with wins like that.
2.) Las Vegas (-) - 5-4 win doesn't do them much good in the standings.
3.) Tijuana (-) - The Matadors keep winning and with the bottom of the playoff bunch getting tighter, they have the chance to make a big jump in the coming weeks.
4.) Colorado (-) - When only two guys shoot over .450 in a week you know you're in trouble. The Bears need to make up ground against Tijuana this week
5.) Montreal (-) - They seemed happy with their 5-4 loss, though they lost the 5 points on Wednesday they held fought hard to keep from being blown out and succeeded (easily).
6.) Rakeville (+1) - A few weeks ago it was a foregone conclusion the Crows would find a way into the playoffs. 5-4 wins are nice once you're there, but they need to find a way to win by more in order to propel themselves up into the top 6.
7.) Bridgewater (-1) - The loss against Tokyo hurt, and the only reason they didn't lose 9-0 is because the Vegans are just terrible in Assists and Turnovers. Lucky Phenoms I guess.
8.) Fitchburg (+1) - They excel in some areas and are just terrible in others. A dropping Montreal squad could give Fitchburg the jump they need.
9.) Weymouth (-1) - LeBron James and company got dealt another hard loss. Their stats are better than their standings, they just keep finding ways to lose.
10.) South Carolina (-) - There absolutely no reason this team should be this close to a playoff spot as they are. They've been finding ways to hold on, but with Rakeville and Vegas up next look for the Rebels to drop.
11.) Peoria (-) - Back to their losing ways, but there's no way to bump them back down to the last spot unless Dublin shows some life and finds a way to win.
12.) Dublin (-) - With just a few weeks away from breaking the newly set winless record, Dublin is on their way to making history. Congratulations.

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League Notes:

-Kevin Martin returned to the Brawlers' line up this past week. Team management was so happy with Martin's .370 FG% for the week that they made him team captain. This did not make Brandon Jennings (.312 FG%) very happy.

-After being traded to Montreal, Ben Gordon has been shipped to Fitchburg, Massachusetts in time for the state's special Senate vote. In order to match his play this season, he voted for Joe Kennedy. Get it? Because it didn't matter?

-After taking the last two weeks off, regular power rankings official writer Alexander Marquez Alejandro is set to return to action next week. Ya, after crappy jokes like the last one, I'm excited too.

Full Court Press - Power Rankings (Week 11)

2010-01-13T13:42:00.004-05:00

Power Rankings:
1.) Tokyo (+1) - Solid win against a falling Weymouth team and they should hold onto the top spot with some favorable match ups in the next two weeks
2.) Las Vegas (+2) - With and addition of Duncan and Garnett, and Granger back in the line up, watch out for the Lizards to make a run at the top spot in the coming weeks
3.) Tijuana (+2) - this team is much better than the standings would indicate, look for them to make some noise against WEY and COL
4.) Colorado (-1) - Tough loss against Vegas bumps them down, but expect a rebound against Fitch.
5.) Montreal (-4) - Are they packing it in? After a terrible loss to Rakeville and the trading of their two best big men, one has to assume they're looking toward the future
6.) Bridgewater (-) - Keeps themselves in the middle of the pack with a win against Carolina, but statistically not much better than Fitchburg
7.) Rakeville (+1) - Took advantage of the match up against Montreal, and should continue to climb with Dublin and South Carolina coming up next
8.) Weymouth (-1) - How far we've dropped. With a tough few weeks ahead Weymouth really could go either way
9.) Fitchburg (+1) - Another loss keeps them low, but even worse play around them bumps them up.
10.) South Carolina (-1) - Two 3-6 losses in a row won't do much for your confidence. Could be an interesting match up with Peoria coming up next.
11.) Peoria (+1) - Apparently Rudy Gay, is the answer, and not John Wall.
12.) Dublin (-1) - So we have it, Dublin has overtaken Peoria as the bottom of the power rankings barrel. They have a "good" chance at breaking their newly set winless streak record unless they can get their other half of their roster back from injury

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League Notes:

-Tim Duncan will start off the week in a Montreal uniform and on Friday is expected to suit up for the other side of the court. Las Vegas GM Charles Barkley has instructed his entire team to stop defending their new center so not to risk injury

-Peoria fans rioted in the streets after their 8-1 win over Dublin. No one seemed to care that the win came against a team with just 9 active players and it may end up costing them the top draft pick in next year's draft. Sources have said Peoria management isn't worried, and still feel confident they can get Shaquille O'Neal with the 2nd overall pick

-Sources say that Paul Pierce is on the block in Fitch, and that management would "highly consider" an offer that included 4 1st round draft picks. There have been no such offers reported yet, but one can only assume there will be soon.

Finding The Final Piece

2010-01-08T14:31:00.006-05:00

After an early exit in the 2008 playoffs and failure to make earn an invite in 2009, the Las Vegas Lizards, Sin City's only team without a championship, is looking for that final piece to bring them their shot at the EHBA title. Shawn Marion, apparently, was not that piece.

Finding The Final Piece
Reno Weekly Rag/Max Powera

It's not every day you see a championship contending team trade away a solid role playing piece of their roster for a draft pick in a future draft. Recently the Lizards traded away forward Shawn Marion to the Matadors for their 1st round draft pick in the 2010 draft. Marion, who has shown glimpses of greatness, has been inconsistent for the Lizards for most of the season, apparently making him expendable.

"Shawn was great for our team, but he wasn't the piece we needed. We told ourselves that if we could get something that would help us get that piece that we would have to move on it," GM Charles Barkley told reporters after the trade was announced.

Confirmed to have been in discussions with Peoria for Troy Murphy before he was moved to Colorado, Las Vegas has been linked to various trade rumors across the league. They have been thought to be trying to acquire a replacement for Marion, using what they see as the team's expendable assets, including all of their future draft picks, including three 2010 1st rounders, which they have not been shy in shopping across the league. The Lizards have been linked to rumors around superstars SF Paul Pierce, C Carlos Boozer, PF Kevin Garnett, and, to a lesser extent, SG Kobe Bryant and PG Steve Nash.

"We're open to negotiations with anyone who's willing to help us make that push to a championship. We're willing to help the future of another franchise by parting with multiple draft picks in order to make that happen, but at the same time next year's draft is looking to be pretty strong and we're more than happy to use those draft picks to help our roster moving forward," Barkley said, "That being said, we're in line to make a run at the championship this year, and that is our number one priority."

Players linked in trade rumors for the Lizards include G Allen Iverson, newly acquired G C.J.Watson, SG Ben Gordon, SF Stephen Jackson, PG Chris Duhon, C Brendan Haywood, and C Marcus Camby.

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Notes from Vegas...

-Danny Granger has been said to be planning a return in time to face off against Dublin in two weeks, but not against Montreal. The match up however is at home against the DeathPiggys and Granger does plan on practicing with the starters the entire week.

-The Lizards are having a hard time finding adequate playing time for back up guard Allen Iverson and the acquisition of C.J. Watson isn't going to help the situation, though Watson isn't expected to start for the Lizards until Tuesday, January 26th against South Carolina. Needless to say, Watson has been put on the Lizards' trade block.

Bang Bang. (My Baby Shot Me Down.)

2010-01-06T16:44:00.004-05:00

Full Court Press Magazine - Week 10 Power Rankings - Gilbert Arenas just shot the Bear’s playoff hopes in the foot. Why do we always hurt the ones we love?

Over two years ago, the Colorado Bears franchise selected a fun-loving point guard to be the cornerstone of their franchise. Gilbert Arenas was known all over the league as a hilarious, if mercurial, presence in the locker room, known for his practical jokes and outrageous bets. While some questioned his attitude, no one could argue with his results on the court, and at the #9 overall pick, fans in Colorado walked away with what they thought was the steal of the draft.

Two years and two major knee surgeries later, Gilbert Arenas finally donned a Bears uniform, after watching the previous two seasons from the bench in street clothes. With Colorado off to its best start in franchise history, and Gilbert leading the charge with his return to form, things were looking good.

Bang.

Until Gilbert Arenas shot the fans. Literally. And by literally, I mean figuratively. But he might as well. After pulling a gun on a teammate in a locker room fracas, then exacerbating the problem by tweeting on and on and shooting hand pistols in timeouts, Gilbert showed once and for all that he doesn’t give a crap about Colorado, or their fans. And now he’s suspended indefinitely.

There’s been a lot of talk in recent years about the Bears’ curse. After a disappointing first year in the league beset by injuries and underperformers, the Bears were even worse in 2008-2009, when a rash of freak injuries left them hobbled and helpless, barely able to put a full roster on the court. The curse was limited to the players on their team either; after trading Luol Deng to Montreal, Deng fractured his leg and missed the rest of the year. After Jameer Nelson was sent to South Carolina, he separated his shoulder and missed the rest of the year. After drafting Blake Griffin in this year’s draft, he and Greg Oden were shipped to Dublin where both promptly suffered major injuries and have missed all or most of the season, with Oden out for the whole year. Quite simply, Colorado is the unluckiest team in the league.

Fortunately, the Bears’ savvy GM Mike Comtois has made all the right moves this season, and is hoping to taste the playoffs that once seemed so inevitable two years ago. The recent addition of Derrick Rose, once thought of as a luxury, will now prove invaluable to the squad with the loss of Arenas for who knows how long. It’s only a shame that Rudy Gay will have to endure some sort of horrific injury in the coming weeks.
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Power Rankings:
1. Montreal (-) – Easy win over Peoria keeps them in the top spot. Things get much harder from here though.
2. Tokyo (-) – Solid win over South Carolina keeps them cruising. Really rounding into form.
3. Colorado (-) – Cooled off a once hot Rakeville squad. How bad will loss of Arenas hurt though?
4. Las Vegas (-) – Great win over Tijuana; Granger expected back within a couple of weeks.
5. Tijuana (-) – Don’t really deserve to be here after loss, but everyone behind them has struggled too.
6. Bridgewater (+4) – After the top 4, it’s really a crapshoot where any given team could land. Big win over depleted Dublin squad is what it is.
7. Weymouth (+1) – Back in the playoff picture with a big win over Fitchburg. Real test comes at Tokyo this week.
8. Rakeville (-1) – Bad loss in a game they needed to win. Interesting match-up with a banged up Montreal squad this week.
9. South Carolina (-3) – Tough loss to Tokyo, but statistically they’re just not there yet. Need to show something against Bridgewater this week in a winnable game.
10. Fitchburg (-) – Not good enough to make the playoffs, not bad enough to get John Wall. Tough place to be.
11. Dublin (-) – The unthinkable could happen next week—if they lose to Peoria, we could officially have a new worst team in the league. Injuries make it a tough pill to swallow, but it is what it is.
12. Peoria (-) – Another week, another 7-2 loss. Just another sunny day in Peoria.
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League Notes:
-Another inaugural first round pick is on the block in Montreal. Rumor has it Kevin Garnett can be had for the right price.

-After a contentious week of trading, EHBA fans have been treated to a circus in Peoria. Everyone loves elephants.

-Fitchburg forward Tracy McGrady allegedly also pulled a gun on a teammate in the locker room this week, only no one gives a shit because Tracy McGrady stinks.

Full Court Press - New Year's Resolutions

2009-12-30T13:27:00.004-05:00

Week 9 Power Rankings - Yeah, I don't know either. It's tough to find a good picture every week. Let's move on. A new decade is upon us, so let’s forget old acquaintance, pull down those stockings and Christmas trees, and start making our resolutions for the New Year, Power Ranking style!

With the New Year comes a fresh start to all—except, of course, basketball teams, who are already locked into the standings nearing the midway point. Despite that, it’s a time for rebirth, renewal, and second chances. With that in mind, let’s take a look at each EHBA team’s resolutions for 2010.

Tokyo – Resolves to…Get a point guard. While the Vegans have been flying high all year, they have a glaring weakness in the backcourt. Joe Johnson has done a decent job of filling in for the injured Jose Calderon, but the fact of the matter is that he is not a point guard. Lack of assists and steals are killing the Vegans statistically, and it could be a major problem in the playoffs if it isn’t addressed by the trading deadline. You simply can’t punt categories in the postseason.

Las Vegas – Resolves to…Keep the good times rolling. Las Vegas has been a surprisingly dominant team this year after missing the playoffs last year. They did a great job stockpiling draft picks and quality players at the deadline last year and are now enjoying the fruits of their labor. With two first round picks to play with around the trading deadline and no glaring weaknesses, Vegas is in good position to keep it up in 2010.

Montreal – Resolves to…Win 4 more games in a row. The DeathPiggys looked down for the count after a devastating 7-1 loss to Colorado in Week 4. Since then, however, they’ve rolled off 5 wins in a row and are only 3 away from tying their own record for consecutive unbeaten weeks. It won’t be easy, though, as they’ll have to get past resurgent Rakeville and Las Vegas in consecutive weeks to tie the record, but with only one loss all season, the Piggys look primed to give it a go.

Colorado – Resolves to…Balance out their team. They’ve ridden some dominant guard play to 4th place so far, but the Bears have a glaring weakness in the form of a post presence. The addition of a rejuvenated Zack Randolph has helped the issue, but the fact remains that the Bears don’t really have a legitimate center on their roster. That’ll have to change if they’re going to keep up the pace in the playoffs.

South Carolina – Resolves to…Update their roster every day. Twice this season the Rebels coach has inexplicably benched all of his players for an entire day in a losing effort. Statistically the team is in 9th place, yet they’re a top 5 squad in the standings. Imagine how much better they’d be without the brain farts.

Tijuana – Resolves to…Be more grateful. The Matadors have done a great job climbing out of their early season hole, thanks to strong post play from Chris Bosh and a shot in the arm provided by Baron Davis. That hasn’t stopped GM Saul Smith from shopping Bosh behind the scenes or taking public shots at his PG for not getting more assists after a 13 dime performance in a winning effort. Smith was angry that his team didn’t beat the upstart Crows by even more, and seemed to forget that without Davis’s 13 dishes, they wouldn’t have been close in assists to begin with. How about showing a little more gratitude for the guy who has saved your season?

Weymouth – Resolves to…Stop being a one-man show. LeBron’s heroics led to Weymouth’s being the surprise team of much of the first half of the season, but since then his teammates have fallen off a cliff. While Bron Bron continues to put up near trip-dubs every night, his supporting cast has done nothing as Weymouth has free-fallen all the way to 7th place after being in first much of the season. The standings are no fluke, either, as Weymouth is as bad on paper as they are in reality. Statistically, they are worse than 10th place Fitchburg. They need to do something to stop the bleeding—and fast.

Bridgewater – Resolves to…Ride the Kobe horse until he drops. The league’s other one man show has a better supporting cast, but poorer results so far. Kobe Bryant has been insane so far this year, but his running mates—most notably Andre Miller and David West—have not been up to the challenge as of yet. They’re hoping that changes in time to make the playoffs.

Rakeville – Resolves to…Make the playoffs. After a brutal start caused by multiple injuries, the Crows are flying high once again. Provided they can keep their roster on the floor, the Crows believe the playoffs are a lock if they keep up their effort, an amazing turnaround given their atrocious start. The only question is of whose expense that spot will come?

Fitchburg – Resolves to…Hit some free throws. A talented roster has badly underachieved so far this year thanks to sloppy fundamentals. The Foo continue to dominate the post, but are getting killed by lack of 3 pointers, missed free throws, and turnovers. They desperately need to find some balance, or they risk being in the unfortunate position of being too good for a high draft pick, but not good enough for the playoffs.

Dublin – Resolves to…Get healthy. Injuries continue to be the story in Dublin, overshadowing even the breakout of Brandon Jennings. Things have gotten so bad that they risk dropping below even Peoria in the standings if they can’t put a full team on the floor most nights.

Peoria – Resolves to…Draft John Wall. Even with PG being their deepest position, with Derrick Rose, Deron Williams, Ty Lawson, and Jonny Flynn, the Bricklayers are honed in on the #1 pick in next year’s draft, and can’t afford to butcher it next year like they did this year. Expect a young PG firesale in Peoria’s near future.
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Power Rankings:

1. Montreal (-) – They just keep winning…

2. Tokyo (+1) – Destroyed the Brawlers, but at this point a rec-league team could give Dublin a run for their money.

3. Colorado (+2) – They’re not this good statistically, but it’s time to give props to a team that keeps on winning, even if it’s latest victim was Peoria.

4. Las Vegas (-2) – That was a historically bad week.

5. Tijuana (+1) – Another win over a quality opponent. The Matadors are officially back.

6. South Carolina (+3) – Okay, I get it. After I drop them following a big win over a crappy opponent, they do the same thing a good team. My bad. Can we still be friends?

7. Rakeville (-1) – Loss to Tijuana a definite bump in the road; things only get worse with Colorado and Montreal up in consecutive weeks. Can they keep the comeback going?

8. Weymouth (-4) – Boy, when they lose they sure do it in a spectacular way, don’t they? Losses of 8-1 and 7-2 marring what they were hoping was a breakout year.

9. Fitchburg (+1) – Win over Vegas is great. Can they keep it going though?

10. Bridgewater (-2) - That winning streak suddenly seems like a long time ago.

11. Dublin (-) – Sure, they’re injured, but they had at least been playing hard—until last week. Have they quit on their coach?

12. Peoria (-) – I’ll let GM Dave Grubb do the write-up on this one: “The reason we suck: I feel like we're having a pretty good week, yet we're down 7-2.” You hit the nail on the head, Grubb. Now fix it.
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League Notes:
-Word out of Canada is that GM Jackie Moon would love to move PG Mike Bibby. When asked why, he said, “Because he’s a dummy, that’s why! Get out of my office!”

-Foo Fighter GM Pete Brown has come under fire for not giving decent (or any) counter offers in trade negotiations. The problem seems to stem from other owners angry about not being able to rip him off.

-Colorado recently acquired free agent forward Yi Jianlian, a surprising development given their GM’s noted hatred of all things Asian.

Merry Fuckin' Christmas!

2009-12-23T12:51:00.003-05:00

Week 8 Power Rankings - Ho, Ho, Ho. It’s the Christmas power rankings, bitches!

Christmas is a time of joy, goodwill towards men, and altogether happiness. So for the special Christmas edition of the EHBA Power Rankings, we leave the snark at the door and take a look at what each EHBA team hopes to find under it’s tree this year.

Las Vegas – Danny Granger. The Lizards are hoping their star player can make it back after the Holidays to once again team up with Chris Paul to give Vegas the devastating 1-2 punch that has led them to the top of the standings.

Montreal – A Roy Hibbert break out. The DeathPiggys’ talented young center has shown flashes of brilliance this year, but has been inconsistent. Montreal hopes their young giant can work through the growing pains in a similar fashion to their breakout center from last year, Brook Lopez, who’s been a lone bright spot in a tough first half of the season for Rakeville.

Tokyo – Continued good health. Although point guard Jose Calderon is nicked up, the Vegans have been largely healthy this year and it’s brought good results. After devastating injuries to twin towers Al Jefferson and Amar’e Stoudemire derailed Tokyo’s championship hopes last year, if they can keep the team in one piece they could finish what they started in the new year.

Weymouth – A Scottie Pippen to LeBron’s Jordan. Led by King James, Weymouth was a one man wrecking crew to start the season, but now that LeBron’s teammates have cooled off (most notably Andrew Bynum), Weymouth is struggling to keep their foot on the gas. Armed with a package of interesting breakouts though (Chris Douglas-Roberts, Jason Thompson), Weymouth is looking to find a Robin to LeBron’s Batman. That would be the best gift the island fans could hope for.

Colorado – A legit center. Although they improved their rebounding greatly with the addition of Zach Randolph, the Bears still don’t have a true center and it’s killing them in FG %, blocks, and rebounds.

Tijuana – Peoria every week. After a tough loss to Bridgewater threw off their momentum, Tijuana roared back with a huge win over the hapless Bricklayers. If only they could get Peoria every week, they’d be guaranteed a playoff spot.

South Carolina – A low-post presence not named Dwight Howard. Howard has been a beast again this year, but he’s still only one man. South Carolina is relying on him to carry the team in blocks and boards, and even with his superhuman efforts, it hasn’t quite been enough so far.

Bridgewater – A half a game. That’s all that separates the Phenoms from the playoffs at this moment, an amazing accomplishment considering their early season struggles. With Kobe Bryant at the top of his game, they remain a dangerous team.

Rakeville – Coal. The Crows Christmas came a little early this year when their team finally got healthy after injuries decimated them to start the year. Since they’re healthy and rolling (tied with Montreal for longest current winning streak), might as well get something to keep the fires roaring.

Fitchburg – A quality shooting guard. Fitchburg is in desperate need of balance. They are killing the rest of the league in FG%, Blocks, Rebounds, etc., but are getting ripped apart weekly on FT%, Pts, & 3 pointers. They need someone to share the backcourt burden with Dwyane Wade.

Dublin – Health. 5 Brawlers are injured, with two of them gone for the whole season. Even though they weren’t going anywhere this year, it’s still tough to see a promising young team devastated with injuries like this.

Peoria – Peace on Earth. This team is a mess. Might as well ask for something that can benefit the greater good.
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Power Rankings:
1. Montreal (+2) – Have won 7 of 8 this year, including victories over Tokyo, Weymouth, and Las Vegas. Not the sexiest team in the league, but keep getting it done.
2. Las Vegas (-) – Good quality win over Weymouth, especially without Granger.
3. Tokyo (-2) – Loss to Montreal nothing to get up in arms about, but definite chinks in the armor.
4. Weymouth (-) – Loss to Vegas a bummer, but still solid. LeBron can’t do it alone, though.
5. Colorado (-) – Another boring, efficient win.
6. Rakeville (-) – Would have liked to see a bigger win, but Fitchburg is better than their record indicates.
7. Tijuana (+2) – Blowout win over hapless Peoria gets them back on track.
8. Bridgewater (-1) – Hard-fought loss to Colorado derails the league’s hottest team.
9. South Carolina (-1) – Hate to drop a team after a win, but Dublin is awful and Tijuana just had a better week.
10. Fitchburg (-) – Something’s gotta give, or they’ll just keep losing 5-4 every week.
11. Dublin (-) – Even with multiple injuries, team keeps playing hard.
12. Peoria (-) – On the bright side, I hear Yao Ming is up and walking again. That’s a really good sign.
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League Notes:
-After their fourth straight win put them into 9th place, Rakeville GM Jack Reed literally said, “I can’t believe how bad my team was to start the season.” In all fairness, it was pretty incredible.

-After being traded to Weymouth after a week in Montreal, Diver Center Ben Wallace was reportedly ecstatic. It seems Wallace is an avid ice-fisherman in the offseason, and can’t wait to be able to ice-fish year round.

-After the latest injury to his team, Dublin GM Brad Bodell was seen kicking himself for accepting the cursed tiki idol along with Blake Griffin and Greg Oden in his pre-season trade with Colorado.

Full Court Press - The Best Team in the EHBA

2009-12-16T17:02:00.004-05:00

Week 7 Power Rankings - Well, not quite, but the revival is in full swing in Rakeville, as a healthy Crow squad is making waves in across the league.

Two months ago, Dr. Stanley van Breda Kolpf was a busy man. With five patients to attend to, the Rakeville doctor was dealing with an epidemic. Considering that the total population of Rakeville is 17, the influx of Crows to the ER had left van Breda Kolpf with nearly 30% of the town’s residents in need of urgent care. From broken wrists (Kevin Love), to sprained groins and fingers (Devin Harris), to addiction to steroids (Rashard Lewis), the Core of the Crows lineup was a mess, and it led to a pretty ugly start to the season.

Now, though, the team has a clean bill of health and is bulldozing their way through some of the best teams in the league. Only a few weeks ago, things looked incredibly bleak, as Rakeville found themselves in the bottom of the league in nearly every category en route to getting blasted by opponents every week, from the league’s top (Tokyo), middle (South Carolina, Bridgewater), and bottom (Dublin). Just as the squad was at its lowest point, hapless Peoria came to town, only a week removed from their greatest triumph of the season (a 4-4 tie against a bottom third of the standings Bridgewater team) looking to make a splash in beating up on poor, broken Rakeville. But a funny thing happened on the way to the basement. The Crows got healthy.

After dismantling Peoria, critics were unimpressed. Sure, they were able to slip by Peoria, but Peoria is maybe the one team in the league who is crappier then Rakeville. Then they beat Weymouth, who had been dominating the league early in the season. Critics remained unimpressed. Sure, they beat Weymouth, but Weymouth was coming off an 8-1 rout at the hands of Montreal. They were clearly overrated and due to come back down to Earth. Then Rakeville went out and beat Las Vegas last week, and critics have to begrudgingly hand it to them—the kids in Rakeville can play ball when they’re at full strength. Sure, they may be full of floppy haired grandpas (Steve Nash), goofy assholes who everyone on the team secretly hates but put up with because they average a double double (looking at you, Brook Lopez), cheaters (Lewis), crybabies (Harris), and goofy looking white guys (Kevin Love, Tyler Hansbrough, Andrew Bogut, Nash), but…I’m sorry I forgot what I was getting at. Let’s just finish this with a pun…something something Rakeville can crow about.
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Power Rankings:
1. Tokyo (+1) – More an indictment of Las Vegas’ performance last week than Tokyo’s dominance, but they’ll take it.
2. Las Vegas (-1) – Loss of Granger may be hurting the team more than they thought it would.
3. Montreal (-) – Need more scoring, but interior game got a big boost this week with the arrival of a resurgent Ben Wallace.
4. Weymouth (-) – As long as they keep beating the teams they should, they should stay up here.
5. Colorado (-) – Moral victory over tough Tokyo team, but still need more balance to squad.
6. Rakeville (+3) – Dangerous roster finally healthy and making noise.
7. Bridgewater (+1) – Quiet 4 game win streak longest active streak in the league.
8. South Carolina (-1) – Bad loss in a winnable game. Have yet to beat a team over .500.
9. Tijuana (-3) – Just when we think they’re back, they lay a stinkbomb against Bridgewater.
10. Fitchburg (-) – Dominate in FG%, Assists, and steals, but are worst in the league in FT% and 3 pointers. Need to find some balance if they want to save their season.
11. Dublin (-) – Injuries have destroyed what was already a lost season.
12. Peoria (-) – 5-4 loss represents serious progress!
_____________________________________________________
League Notes:

-After losing two of their last three games, Weymouth GM Nick Bruce put all of his crappiest/underachieving players up on the trading block. His plan, as always: trade one or two of them for a Top 10 player. No word yet on the negotiations.

-Las Vegas cut mercurial point guard Rafer Alston after Skip allegedly pulled a knife on a hamster in practice. Las Vegas takes animal cruelty very seriously.

-Brook Lopez is a tool.

Full Court Press - Criminally Good

2009-12-08T17:12:00.002-05:00

Week 6 Power Rankings

Don’t look now, but the defending champions are quietly beating their ~~wives~~ competition all the way back into the playoff picture after a rough start to their title defense.

Tijuana GM Saul Smith sat in his office high atop the Matador Cantina, the smoke and stench of his Philly Blunt cigar filling the office while he let the ash slowly burn near his fingertips. Seated in his tall, leather chair, back to the desk and the reporter sitting in front of it, he sat quietly for some time before addressing the voice on the other end of his speakerphone. “Make the deal,” he said quietly but firmly. Then he hung up. And with that, Smith set off the chain of events that would directly contribute to the rejuvenation of his team’s season.

Defending a title can be a tricky thing. Players get complacent, fan expectations rise dramatically, and everybody wants more. We saw this last year in Montreal when the DeathPiggys stormed out of the gate last year before falling victim to the title defense swoon. Although they were able to claw their way back to the title game, it wasn’t enough as a new, hungrier upstart was looking to make their mark.

The key to the DeathPiggys’ run to the title game last year was a late season trade with Las Vegas. Fed up with his team’s lack of toughness on the boards and poor shooting percentages, Montreal GM Jackie Moon made a blockbuster deal for Pau Gasol, Tim Duncan, and Brandon Roy. The cost was steep, as Montreal lost two of their franchise cornerstones in Danny Granger and Al Horford, in addition to two valuable first round picks, but the trade had the intended effect on the team and jolted them out of their slump and built momentum for the playoffs.

Realizing his team needed a kick in the pants, Smith made a controversial trade with Peoria, sending team captain Deron Williams and last year’s playoff hero Troy Murphy packing, in exchange for enigmatic point guard Baron Davis, injury-prone forward Caron Butler, and breakout Center Channing Frye. Many around the league derided the trade when it happened, pointing out that Tijuana was trading away cornerstones of a championship team for a bunch of players who have never won anything. But Smith knew something had to give.

“You don’t really understand the situation until you see it firsthand,” Smith explains. “Those guys, Deron and Troy, they’re great players and the people of Mexico will always respect and appreciate what they gave us last year. That said…” Smith trails off, looking into the distance and taking a long, appreciative puff of his delicious cherry-flavored Philly. “With that said, some people around the team just didn’t think they were giving it their all out there. We can’t have that. We’re trying to build a dynasty, not be just some one and done paper champion. We’re in this for the long haul. And if everyone isn’t committed to that common goal, then we’re not afraid to bring in people who will be. My dad taught me that,” Smith says, gesturing to a picture of his father, college coach Tubby Smith, on his desk.

Smith is no stranger to making waves in the trade market. After a sluggish start last year, Smith acquired point guard Jason Kidd, who helped turned the team’s season around. He then made a series of deals that ended up with Murphy, who was a key contributor in getting the team over the top for a title. Since his controversial move this year, the Matadors have ripped off three wins in a row, including a big 6-3 victory over then-first place Tokyo. While no one was looking, Tijuana has worked their way only a half game out of the final playoff spot with plenty of games left to go. While it’s never easy to repeat, Saul Smith has shown that he won’t let his team go down without a fight.

______________________________________________

Power Rankings:
1. Las Vegas (+1) – Light upcoming schedule could ensure that they don’t give this spot up anytime soon, despite injury to Granger.
2. Tokyo (-1) – Dominating in some areas, but problems (TOs, FG%, Assists) starting to loom larger.
3. Montreal (-) – Always nice to get a win on a subpar week.
4. Weymouth (-) – Back-to-back losses means the honeymoon is over on the island of Weymouth.
5. Colorado (-) – Solid win over Colorado East. True test comes this week against Tokyo.
6. Tijuana (+1) – Huge win over Tokyo shows the champs aren’t down for the count yet.
7. South Carolina (-1) – Easy portion of the 1st half sked is over. Their first tests against contenders haven’t gone well.
8. Bridgewater (+1) – Have quietly ripped off 3 in a row. Two hottest teams square off against each other this week in Tijuana.
9. Rakeville (+2) – Getting healthy, getting better results.
10. Fitchburg (-) – Statistically still strong, but they’ll need to show something against Peoria and Rakeville these next two weeks to save their season.
11. Dublin (-3) – Injuries are killing the youngsters.
12. Peoria (-) – Another week, another blowout loss. Look to break their own (shared) record for longest winless streak this week against Fitchburg, as Fitchburg tries to remove their name from the ignominious record.

________________________________________________

League Notes:
-Las Vegas forward Danny Granger is expected to miss at least a month with a heel injury. He incurred the injury while playing hop-scotch with team GM and renowned hopscotch enthusiast Charles Barkley.

-Dublin Center Greg Oden broke the patella on his left knee and will miss the rest of the season. Oden is the second player to injure a knee after a pre-season trade with noted injury enthusiasts Colorado. Bears GM Mike Comtois could be heard laughing all the way from Hawaii, where he is “working,” the lucky bastard.

-Rakeville has won two games in a row. After ripping on them all season, I’m contractually obligated to congratulate them on this feat. Does that count? I think that counts.

Full Court Press - Down in the Dumps

2009-12-01T16:58:00.002-05:00

Week 5 Power Rankings

LeBron James and company had a lot to be thankful for the first 3 weeks of the season as they feasted on the dregs of the league. That all came crashing down in a week 5 dismantling at the hands of resurgent Montreal. Fortunately, they can give thanks for a giant turkey coming to town next, as they look to re-establish themselves among the league’s elite. Is that enough Thanksgiving wordplay for you?

The holiday season is upon us, and it certainly brought a cornucopia of mixed blessings throughout the league. While teams like Peoria, Fitchburg, and Weymouth may be feeling down in the dumps, let’s take a moment to celebrate the season (and rip off our sister publication, the ‘Gridiron Gazette’) and take a look at what each team around the league has to be thankful for.

Tokyo is thankful for…
The Montreal DeathPiggys. After trading down in the inaugural EHBA draft with the DeathPiggys netted them two low-post studs that have been the cornerstone of the franchise’s foundation in Amar’e Stoudemire and Al Jefferson, the DeathPiggys proved to be the gift that keeps on giving, as their demolition of Weymouth in Week 5 paved the way for Tokyo to take sole possession of first place. Don’t look for them to give it up anytime soon.

Las Vegas is thankful for…
Obama’s proposed healthcare plan. With Chris Paul severely banged up, and Ben Gordon, Danny Granger, and Shawn Marion all spending time in the trainer’s room with him at some point, the Lizards could use some help paying their medical bills and getting a healthy, contending team back on the floor after an embarrassing loss to Bridgewater.

Weymouth is thankful for…
The 2009 EHBA schedule makers. The Dumpster Divers have the league’s softest schedule this season, as they get to load up on early season games against the likes of Peoria and Rakeville, but only have to play league juggernaut Tokyo once all season, in week 11. That could be the difference between a tough first round matchup and a bye.

Montreal is thankful for…
The waiver wire. After a brutal week against Colorado, Montreal called on reinforcements in recent signees Nate Robinson and Al Thornton, who both had a huge hand in the blowout win over Weymouth. If they keep up this level of play, they’ll find themselves applying for Canadian citizenship.

South Carolina is thankful for…
The Colorado-SC express. They can thank the Bears for their category victories in points, FG%, and 3 pointers last week and each week from now on. Their team leaders in those categories are all late of the Bears.

Colorado is thankful for…
The numbers 5 and 4. 4 of their 5 games this season have ended in a final score of 5-4. It’s like a bad Jim Carrey movie this season in Colorado.

Bridgewater is thankful for…
A chance. Statistically the Phenoms are still one of the worst teams in the league, yet somehow they are hanging around in the playoff chase. If they can continue to hover around the playoffs, they have a shot at righting the ship just in time to make noise in the postseason.

Tijuana is thankful for…
The 2008-2009 EHBA championship. Looking at their roster, it’s hard to believe this team was the best in the land only a year ago. They got old in a hurry, but nothing can take the magic of last season away from them. Who knows if they can get it back?

Fitchburg is thankful for…
Their dynamite duos. Without Dwyane Wade and Rajon Rondo keeping them afloat in the backcourt and Joakim Noah and Carlos Boozer keeping them going upfront, it’s downright scary to imagine how bad this former playoff contender could be. They suddenly find themselves 4.5 games back of the playoffs and falling fast.

Dublin is thankful for…
The future. This season might be rough for the Brawlers, but beyond that they will be a force to be reckoned with. With the shocking breakouts of Marc Gasol and Brandon Jennings, and the continued maturation of Greg Oden, Stephen Curry, to say nothing of Blake Griffin, Dublin should invest in some nice sunglasses. (Because the future is so bright? Get it?)

Rakeville is thankful for…
A solid win. Last week’s 7-2 victory really lifted the spirits of the town of Rakeville. The Crows should savor the taste of victory, because with Weymouth and Las Vegas next on the docket, it might be awhile before they get to again.

Peoria is thankful for…
Geez, I don’t know. The weather? Is Peoria a nice place to live? Low crime rates, maybe? I hope there is something about that town that’s good, because there’s nothing to be thankful for on the court. A blowout loss to Rakeville is about as low as you can go this year. Sadly, it’s only going to get worse with Las Vegas up next. Deron Williams is looking good in red though, I guess.

______________________________________________________

Power Rankings:
1. Tokyo (+2) – Continue to take care of business.
2. Las Vegas (-) – Close loss to Bridgewater is embarrassing, but just a stumbling block.
3. Montreal (+4) – Blowout victory over Weymouth shows there is still life in the aging squad.
4. Weymouth (-3) – Embarrassing loss in every way. Were the first 3 weeks a fluke?
5. Colorado (-1) – After a huge win over Montreal, 5-4 over Dublin is a letdown.
6. South Carolina (-1) – Coach needs to stop with the DNP-CDs for no reason; it’s really affecting the team on the court and off.
7. Tijuana (+1) – Slowly but surely climbing their way out of an early season hole.
8. Dublin (+1) – Youth is always dangerous. Could lose or win against any opponent on any night.
9. Bridgewater (+1) – Win over Vegas is impressive, but numbers still indicate this team is not for real.
10. Fitchburg (-4) – Have been quietly losing ground all season. Badly need a win this week.
11. Rakeville (+1) – Could the blowout win over the Bricklayers lay a foundation for continued success? (Get it? Come on, that’s a pretty good pun.)
12. Peoria (-1) – They’ve finally hit rock bottom. Don’t expect them to get up anytime soon. I think they may have broken a leg.
_________________________________________________________
League Notes:
-Drunken fans in Tokyo nearly rioted after their 6-3 win over Fitchburg. A spokesperson for the team said it’ll probably be the last time they do their ’10 yen sake night’ promotion.

-Apparently Chris Paul is such a strong influence on the rest of his Lizard teammates that once Shawn Marion, Danny Granger, and Ben Gordon saw how badass Paul looked hobbling around on his crutches, they each immediately intentionally hurt themselves so that they too could get a pair. Paul then threw his away, saying, “That trend is so over, man. Walking boots is where it’s at now,” before limping away in a walking cast.

-After making a brief return to action against Dublin, Bears guard Michael Redd then removed himself from the game for the foreseeable future, citing “hurt feelings,” after one of the Brawlers insulted his weirdly pointy head.

Full Court Press: The Battle of a Lifetime

2009-11-24T11:57:00.004-05:00

Week 4 Power Rankings

Rakeville. Peoria. America. The matchup of the season takes place in week 4.

Two teams with very different histories in the EHBA will stage a battle for the hearts and minds of the disillusioned fans of two distinct cities. The matchup between the Rakeville Crows and Peoria Bricklayers represents more than just a meeting of the two worst teams in the league. It is more than just a battle for who will get to draft John Wall next year. It is more than the matchup of young (newly acquired Deron Williams) vs. old (EHBA mainstay Steve Nash). No, Rakeville vs. Peoria is deeper than that. It is a battle of wills, a test of strength unlike any carnival game. It is your mother baking warm apple pie on an autumn day. It is your father oiling up a new baseball mitt the night before a game of catch in the backyard. It is the cold, dead eyes of a loved one looking at you from a coffin. The final, sad cry of a beloved family pet being put to sleep. It is America. It is Iraq. Freedom and tyranny, good and evil, all at once. This matchup between Rakeville and Peoria transcends mere sport—this matchup is life itself.

While the Crows have a long history of success, the franchise has fallen on hard times this season. After finishing the inaugural EHBA season as championship game runner up, Rakeville took a step backwards in 2008, losing in the first round of the playoffs in a tightly contested battle to rivals Bridgewater. This year, despite a solid young nucleus led by center Brook Lopez and veteran PG Steve Nash, Rakeville has fallen even further, losing every game of the young season by blowout margins. Injuries to key players such as Eric Gordon and Kevin Love can take part of the blame, but the fact remains that the entire Rakeville team has underachieved.

Peoria, on the other hand, has never been a successful team in the EHBA. They have never finished a season higher than 10th place and have been known to make some less-than-shrewd management decisions in that time. However, last week’s blockbuster acquisition of star PG Deron Williams has raised Peoria’s national profile, and gotten fans excited again about Bricklayer basketball. Although they are in last place in the standings, statistically Peoria is actually a slightly better team than Rakeville. And this week, they’ll set out to prove it.

But why should we care about two moribund franchises matching up in an otherwise non-descript regular season week? After all, isn’t this pretty much the least compelling matchup in a pretty uncompelling week? To that, I can only say this: Fuck. You. Rakeville and Peoria represents everything around us, every day. The beauty in the mundane, the sadness in the exceptional. In a way, we are Rakeville, just as we are Peoria. Every day we wake up, take a shower, put on our work clothes, and head out the door to face new challenges. Sometimes we succeed. Often, we fail. But goddamnit, we try each and every day. We go to work to better ourselves, whether it’s to make money to put food on the table for our kids, or to afford that fancy new car to impress our sexy neighbor. Each day is a unique struggle to make things right. And that’s why Rakeville vs. Peoria matters. At a time when our nation’s morale is lowest, when the stock market is falling faster than Manu Ginobli’s trade value, when we are fighting two wars on two different fronts, and everything seems to be spinning out of control faster than our planet’s rotation can handle, we can look at the two worst teams in the league and see something magical. We can see them try. And sometimes, that’s all you can ask for.

No matter which team comes out on top this week, the winner will be clear—the fans.

And also Peoria. Rakeville sucks.

______________________________________________

Power Rankings:
1. Weymouth (+2) – While the other behemoths battle each other, they just keep on winning.
2. Las Vegas (-1) – 4-4 tie with Tokyo leaves many questions unanswered.
3. Tokyo (-1) – Couldn’t quite finish off the comeback in Vegas.
4. Colorado (+3) – Hard to argue with the smackdown they laid on Montreal. Trade already paying dividends.
5. South Carolina (+1) – Quality win over quality opponent. Defending champs up next.
6. Fitchburg (-1) – Statistically they are much better than this. Things don’t get any easier though, with Tokyo on deck.
7. Montreal (-3) – Ugly loss to Colorado has some questioning whether this team can really compete.
8. Tijuana (+2) – Risky trade could get them back into the playoff picture.
9. Dublin (-1) – Outcome always seems to be worse than the sum of its parts.
10. Bridgewater (-1) – Takes more than a win over Rakeville to move you up the power rankings.
11. Peoria (-) – Acquisition of Deron Williams gives fans hope for future.
12. Rakeville (-) – 7 losses in a row including postseason. Best chance to save face comes this week.
___________________________________________________

League Notes:

-Montreal GM Jackie Moon was so shaken up by the miserable loss to Colorado that he was considering playing for next year, until he realized he’d already traded away next year’s first round pick in a blockbuster deal with Las Vegas last year. “That is the last time I take trade advice from Isaiah Thomas!” Moon was heard shouting in his office.

-After being traded from Peoria to defending champion Tijuana, PG Baron Davis was heard exclaiming, “Finally! I get to play for a winner!” When told that Tijuana was only in 9th place even with their week 4 victory over Dublin, Baron sat down on a stool in his locker and was quiet for a few moments. Finally, he looked up with tears welling in his eyes and said, “Is it me? Am I just not a winner?” Reporters spent the next few minutes awkwardly trying to console Davis with half-hearted praise like, “awww, you’re…hey, you’re doing alright!” and “you know….things aren’t so bad.”

-After using their waiver priority on him, forward Mike Miller was cut by Montreal days later after suffering an undisclosed injury. When asked why they would use a waiver on him just to cut him shortly after, GM Jackie Moon responded, “I just wanted to kick that sissy’s ass. I couldn’t take any chances on missing out on that opportunity.” Miller is expected to be out up to a month. Also, he looks like a girl.

Peoria Free Press - Bricklayers Acquire Deron Williams

2009-11-18T23:32:00.013-05:00

Peoria Shakes Things Up
Deron Williams Brings A Winning Pedigree To Town

“We suck.” Those were the words muttered by PG Baron Davis following a Week 2 thrashing at the hands of Tokyo. Since the EHBA’s inception in 2007, the Peoria Bricklayers have never finished better than 10th place; posting a .417 winning percentage over this time. After the Peoria Cardinals success in the EHCC this season, losing is no longer considered acceptable. Peoria fans have gotten a taste of what it’s like to be relevant and have already begun calling for an overhaul with its struggling basketball franchise.

The sad thing about Baron’s quote, it was entirely accurate. Fortunate for Davis (as well as Caron Butler and Channing Frye) they have cashed in their bus tickets for the first ride out of Peoria. On Tuesday afternoon, Peoria and struggling Tijuana agreed to swap stars in an effort to jump start each underachieving franchise. As reigning EHBA Champion, Tijuana’s struggles have been a bit of a surprise early into this season. They find themselves in a much easier position to retool and reap the benefits immediately. Caron Butler should instantly provide points, rebounds and leadership to an already solid locker room. Baron Davis early on this season has proven himself to be completely healthy after an injury-plagued 2008. When fully healthy, Davis is capable of filling up the stat sheet every night with the possibilities of 20 points, 10 assists, 5 rebounds, and a few steals. Channing Frye has been a nice surprise thus far in ’09. The big man had excelled in Peoria’s up-tempo offense. While he may not provide the high rebounding numbers typical of a true C, Frye is good for 12-15 points a night with a high percentage and the ability to drain the 3.

Peoria on the other hand knew shortly after the blowout loss to Tokyo that change was imminent. After putting feelers throughout the league, the front office made no secrets that Baron and Caron would be dealt sooner rather than later. After a deal with Golden involving ‘Melo failed to finalize, there were several suitors for the services of both Peoria stars. After hearing ideas for a deal from several owners, GM Dave Grubb found his best trade partner to be 1998 NCAA Champion, Saul Smith, GM of the Tijuana Matadors. Grubb knew that a trade made this season would not be with the goal of making a mad dash for the playoffs this season, but to acquire a stud player worthy of off-season protection. A player to build around. No player fit this mold more than PG Deron Williams. Williams has been a winner at every stop. From leading Illinois to prominence in college, to winning gold as a member of the EHBA’s Team USA, to helping lead Tijuana to the title last season. Williams is exactly the man to help push Peoria’s basketball team into relevancy. (Peoria also picked up double-double candidate Troy Murphy and a 2nd round pick for next season).

Williams will join a Peoria squad with one of the youngest, and potentially one of the most explosive, back courts in all of the EHBA. With time, many experts believe the combination of Williams, Rose, Flynn, and Ty Lawson could put up some very big numbers, while offering very nice upside and depth.

There is no doubt that there will be more trades coming out of Peoria as we continue to cruise through the season. As Baron Davis pointed out, this team sucked and this was a trade that had to be made. Hopefully for Peoria fans, things will start heading in a more positive direction.

Full Court Press: On the Move

2009-11-17T15:33:00.004-05:00

(Week 3 Power Rankings)

Colorado's best player is on the move again, as they kicked off the trade season with their yearly swap of the team's star to South Carolina. Could more trades be far behind?

It took almost a month longer than last year, but Colorado and South Carolina got the trade ball rolling again this year, with Colorado sending all-star forward Carmelo Anthony across the country in order to add some much needed rebounding to their struggling front line. This follows last year’s blockbuster deal which sent Colorado all-star Dwight Howard (and Jameer Nelson) from ski-country to beach bumville, for a trio of players. Word has it that South Carolina GM Horace Grant is already preparing an offer for Chauncey Billups for next year.

With Elton Brand struggling and Andris Biedrins realizing he just isn’t very good, Colorado’s front line has been downright embarrassing to start the season, with the Bears finishing in the bottom 2 of each traditionally big-man dominated category. Never one to stand pat, Bears GM Mike Comtois sent Anthony and first round draft pick (and fellow disappointing big-man) Rasheed Wallace to South Carolina for double-double machine (and noted headcase) Zach Randolph and the versatile and explosive Josh Smith, in hopes of jump-starting the front-line.

South Carolina, meanwhile, had all the rebounds, blocks, and FG% they could ever need after stealing Dwight Howard from Colorado a year earlier. Lacking in 3 pointers and FT%, however, this trade is a coup for the ballclub, giving them a huge boost in FT%, and creating addition by subtraction in the category by unloading Smith (shooting only 57% on the year from the charity stripe, which was somehow worse than noted bricklayer Dwight Howard, and worst on the team), and also giving them a much-needed boost in 3s, steals, and points.

This may be the rare trade that works out well for both teams, as both squads are filling a dire need. Is it the start of a rainstorm or just an errant drop of water from the sky? Let’s take a look at some of the players most likely to be traded in the coming weeks.

Baron Davis, PG, Peoria – Peoria GM Dave Grubb has made no secret of his desire to unload the aging and injury-prone point guard. Currently having a bit of a bounce-back season following last year’s debacle, Davis is still a huge lag on FG% and TOs. Could his upside in points, assists, 3pts., and steals be enough to convince an owner to kick-start the Peoria rebuilding process?

Likelihood to be Traded: 100%

Best Fit: Weymouth. Although the Dumpsta Divers are doing well in points, they could really use the boost in assists and steals. Furthermore, they have the shooters to survive the inevitable drop in FG% that Davis would bring. Would burgeoning power forward Jason Thompson get the job done? Or would it take the equally injury-prone Andrew Bynum to make it happen?

Steve Nash, PG, Rakeville – Although Rakeville maintains that Nash will not be moved this season, the team is going absolutely nowhere this year, and Nash isn’t getting any younger. Rakeville has a great young nucleus of players in Eric Gordon, Brook Lopez, Devin Harris, Kevin Love, et al., but moving Nash for some additional pieces this year could put them over the top in the future.

Likelihood to be Traded: 65%

Best Fit: Tokyo. The Vegans have the need (deficiencies in FG% & assists), the young players to get it done, and a willingness to move these players. The only thing lacking is a desire on the part of Rakeville. The farther they sink into the standings, you have wonder how much longer that will last?

LaMarcus Aldridge/Al Jefferson/Amare Stoudemire, PF/C , Tokyo – The Vegans are looking for an upgrade at point guard to aid incumbent Jose Calderon, and they’re willing to move a young big to get it. One of these players will be traded at some point this season—the question is, which one will it be, and for whom?

Likelihood to be Traded: Aldridge – 75%; Stoudemire – 50%; Jefferson – 25%

Best Fit: Dublin. The young Brawlers are building up an impressive young core. Could some combination of Jameer Nelson and/or Kevin Martin entice Tokyo?

Jason Kidd, PG, TIJ – Yet another aging point guard on a team that has struggled this year. Tijuana shopped Kidd around in the preseason, but couldn’t make it work. Of course, Tijuana expected to be a title contender again this year. If they continue to do poorly , would that light a fire under Tijuana GM Saul Smith?

Likelihood to be Traded: 50%

Best Fit: Fitchburg. The Foo Fighters desperately need a boost in FT% and Kidd hasn’t bricked a free shot all season. Add in his 3 pointers, scoring, and solid rebounding from the PG spot, and if Fitchburg is willing to go for it this year, he could be exactly what they need. Can they afford to lose Joakim Noah or Carlos Boozer for the upgrade?

__________________________________________________________
Power Rankings:
1. Las Vegas (+2) – Dominant win over a pretty good South Carolina squad shows they’re legit.
2. Tokyo (-1) – A win over Rakeville is nothing to crow about. Get it? Crow? Ah, fuck you.
3. Weymouth (-2) – Narrow win over Colorado keeps the momentum going, but are they still the top team?
4. Montreal (+1) – It’s rarely pretty, but they just keep on winning.
5. Fitchburg (+1) – Still chugging along. Every game ends 5-4 one way or another. Sign of a balanced team, or a mediocre one?
6. South Carolina (-2) – Embarrassing loss to Vegas drops them a couple spots, but still a dangerous team.
7. Colorado (-) – Another week, another 5-4 loss. Will trade improve their prospects?
8. Dublin (+1) – Two words on Brandon Jennings – Look. Out. This team will be a beast next year.
9. Bridgewater (+1) – The hangover continues. A tie to a rancid Peoria team is unacceptable to fans.
10. Tijuana (-2) – Loss in rematch of last year’s championship game exposes more holes. Something’s gotta give.
11. Peoria (-) – Where there’s smoke there’s fire?
12. Rakeville (-) – Get Rashard Lewis back this week from his steroid suspension. Can a 6-3 loss be far behind? The fans can only hope. Almost anything would be an improvement.
__________________________________________________________
League Notes:
-After acquiring Carmelo Anthony from Colorado last week, South Carolina GM Horace Grant sat in his office twirling a long fancy mustache that he had grown just for the occasion.

-Rookie sensation Brandon Jennings got in some hot water in his home city, after he followed up a 55 point performance on Saturday with pints at a local watering hole located in the Dublin locker room, followed by some traditional Irish midget tossing. However, it turned out the midget was actually former NBA point guard Earl Boykins, who had been in the arena for a Dublin tryout earlier that day, and he was none-too pleased. After plying him with some lucky charms*, however, Boykins declined to press charges.

-Rakeville star Eric Gordon missed all of week 2 with a groin pull. No word yet on if the injury was incurred while wrestling teammate Brook Lopez in the shower. Brook Lopez is gay.

*The lucky charms were money.

Full Court Press - Bombs Away! (Week 2 Power Rankings)

2009-11-10T13:11:00.005-05:00

After a blowout win over hapless Peoria, Tokyo is making their move up the EHBA power rankings, led by 2nd round draft pick & 3 point specialist Danilo Gallinari.

The EHBA draft can be a fickle thing. With all the rookies and over-the-hill veterans, it can be tough to spot the diamonds in the rough. How to separate the wheat from the chaff, the gold nuggets from the shiny rocks? The answer to that question is a mystery wrapped in a puzzle, hidden under Michael Jordan’s bed, which is guarded by a two-headed dragon who will ask you 3 riddles in order to gain access to the mystery/puzzle hybrid. The first riddle will be: “Two legs I have, and this will confound: only at rest do they touch the ground! What am I?” If you can correctly answer that…well, we’re probably getting ahead of ourselves. The point is, it’s really difficult to predict which players will end up superstars, and which will end up disappointments. That’s why the EHBA GMs get paid the big bucks.

With that said, two weeks is more than enough time to determine the winners and losers of this year’s draft.

Winners:

Colorado – Blake Griffin at number one overall was a no-brainer. Trading him before his inevitable injury was an even bigger no-brainer, and Colorado GM Mike Comtois got a nice bounty for his walking disaster in the process. It was a safe draft for the Bears, taking proven veterans to round out the roster in John Salmons, Manu Ginobli, and Rasheed Wallace among others, but it was the right move for a team that’s trying to establish itself after a lost year.

Tokyo – Tokyo may be the biggest winner in the draft. They hit a couple of homeruns by taking Chris Kaman and Danilo Gallinari with their first two choices. Both have played huge roles in Tokyo’s hot start, as they are near the top of the league in points, 3ptm, rebounds, and FT% thanks to their new acquisitions. Just a case of the rich getting richer, as last year’s #2 seed in the playoffs is only a game back of first place to start this year.

Dublin – Dublin went youth all the way in their draft, but scored perhaps the biggest steal of the night in 2nd round pick Brandon Jennings, who is already emerging as a rookie of the year candidate. Combined with Stephen Curry falling into their laps at pick 3, and Dublin’s set themselves up for a bright future with this draft.

Losers:

Peoria – Josh Howard at the 2nd overall pick was a huge blunder, as he has yet to contribute to the club. Coupled with the fact that he is losing minutes to Shawn Marion and the emergence of players such as Curry, Jennings, Kaman, and Gallinari, all of whom were taken later, it’s already clear only 2 weeks into the season, that Peoria made the wrong choice. You’d hope that the rest of their draft could make up for it, and while Jonny Flynn was a shrewd pick in the 2nd round, later picks James Harden and Brad Miller have already been cut. As a team that’s going nowhere this season, they needed something more than this to build on.

Fitchburg – Although Fitchburg did pick up some useful players in the draft (Joakim Noah, Richard Hamilton, Corey Maggette), Allen Iverson was a disaster waiting to happen. He’s reportedly walked out of Fitchburg because he was not a first round pick, and now there is talk that he might retire completely. With the mercurial star’s history, it can’t be a major surprise. Fitchburg should have known better. Further demerits for taking known psychopath Ron Artest over breakout star Chris Kaman.

Tijuana – After trading their first 3 picks in the draft, Tijuana was left with only Rakeville’s 3rd round pick from the Troy Murphy deal, and their later picks, which were used on Ramon Sessions (cut), Ronnie Brewer, Al Thornton (cut), and Joel Pryzbilla (cut). Given the Matadors’ slow start, they could’ve used something more useful.

_____________________________________________________________

Power Rankings:
1. Weymouth (-) – Another big win keeps the momentum going.
2. Tokyo (+3) – New Vegans playing a big role.
3. Las Vegas (-1) – Blowout win backed up by the stats.
4. South Carolina (+3) – Will go as far as Dwight Howard takes them.
5. Montreal (-2) – Another close win over a quality opponent.
6. Fitchburg (-) – Can Rondo keep it up?
7. Colorado (-3) – Loss to Tijuana shows team’s limitations.
8. Tijuana ( +1) – Narrow victory sign of things to come?
9. Dublin (-1) – Blowout loss to LV shows young Brawlers not quite ready for prime time.
10. Bridgewater (-) – When will we see signs of life?
11. Peoria (-) – Only question is when to start the fire sale?
12. Rakeville (-) – Good news: excel in turnovers. Bad news: Because they have few playmakers.

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League Notes:

-Tokyo GM Inkidu Ishtar is getting impatient with the league’s other owners. “Why won’t they realize they all suck and just trade me their good players already!?” he was heard screaming in a men’s restroom at a Holliday Inn Express in New Jersey.

-After leaving Foo Fighter training camp, troubled Fitchburg PG Allen Iverson reportedly was seen hiding in a closet with R. Kelly and Tom Cruise in Colorado, refusing to come out until the franchise was “nicer to me.”

- After making 26 moves in the season’s first 2 weeks, Las Vegas GM Charles Barkley was heard laughing maniacally in his office “yes, yes, cut them all, hahahahahaha…dance for me puppets! Dance!” No word on what any of it means.

Full Court Press Magazine: Week 1 Power Rankings

2009-11-03T12:42:00.006-05:00

--MY TEAM SUCKS!

One week into the new season and one thing is certain: Rakeville sucks. Everything else is up for grabs.

Up is down, left is right, black is white, white is red—yes, things are that messed up in the EHBA. Three of last year’s playoff teams suffered losses to open the season, including defending champions Tijuana, who were destroyed by a resurgent Weymouth squad led by LeBron James. But how much can we read into one week? A lot. A team by team contender/pretender review and preview of the 2009-2010 EHBA season begins…

now!

1. Dublin Bar Brawlers – The rebuilding process is in full swing on the tiny island of Ireland, but you wouldn’t have known it by last week’s beatdown of the Rakeville Crows. Dublin dominated every facet of the game, save Assists, obliterating a team that it’s almost hard to believe was the runner-up less than 2 seasons ago. But dig a little deeper and you’ll see that it’s not so much Dublin being great as a matter of Rakeville being crappy. Leaguewide, Dublin really only excelled in percentages, and will find the growing pains the rest of the way to be a little more noticeable. They have a great young nucleus, with outstanding rookies Blake Griffin, Brandon Jennings, and Stephen Curry, but they have a long way to go before they can expect to compete with the powers of the rest of the league. PRETENDER

2. South Carolina Rebels – Much like the Micks across the pond, South Carolina’s win looked better in person than it did on paper. Having their way with a hapless Peoria squad may make it seem like the season will be all sunshine and lollipops, but a closer look at the stats show a team too reliant on one player. Dwight Howard had his way with the Yao-less Bricklayers, but his always outstanding FG%, Blocks, and Boards are mitigated by his always atrocious FT% and TOs. It might not have been enough to sink them against an abysmal Peoria team, but it’ll take more than Dwight Howard to hang with the rest of the league. PRETENDER

3. Weymouth Dumpsta Divers – An opening week thrashing of the defending champs speaks volumes about the improvement of this year’s rapidly maturing club from the island of Weymouth. With King James leading the way, Weymouth delivered a message to the rest of the league—Weymouth is ready to play with the big boys. CONTENDER

4. Tokyo Vegans – After a disappointing 4th place finish in the playoffs after dominating the league for most of the regular season, the Vegans were out for a little bit of revenge against the team that beat them in the 3rd place game. While it wasn’t as dominant as they were hoping, a win is a win, and Tokyo cemented that they will once again be a force to be reckoned with. The addition of savvy draft choices of SF Danilo Gallinari and C Chris Kaman to an already strong lineup means that, health permitting, Tokyo could be even better this season—a scary thought for the rest of the league. CONTENDER

5. Fitchburg Foo Fighters – The Foo Fighters delivered a hard-fought Week 1 victory over a surprisingly strong Colorado squad that dominated most areas of the game, but just couldn’t pull out the win. Although you could argue that didn’t deserve to win against the resurgent Bears, they did just enough to pull it out, led by breakout star Rajon Rondo and his mind-boggling 47 assists. The 1-2 punch of Rondo and Wade gives Fitchburg one of the best backcourts in the league, but their lack of reliable low-post threat is a fatal flaw. They could sneak into the playoffs again on the strength of that backcourt, but the team is just not balanced enough to do any damage there. PRETENDER

6. Montreal DeathPiggys – The resilient Piggy squad was able to survive a surprisingly closely-contested week one battle with resurgent Las Vegas even without arguably their best player in Pau Gasol, who was out all week with a hamstring injury, but folks in Canada are still wringing their hooves over whether or not this year’s squad has what it takes to make it 3 straight Championship appearances. The Piggys boast a remarkably balanced but unspectacular attack, led by the versatile Brandon Roy. It’s tough to say how strong this year’s club will be until we see them at full strength, but at this point, it’s impossible to count them out. CONTENDER

7. Colorado Bears – The Golden Bears have perpetually been one of the league’s biggest disappointments. Year in and year out they’ve come into each season full of hope and bluster, and exited ignominiously in a haze of band-aids and sutures. The fact of the matter is, no one has ever had a good hold on exactly what sort of team Colorado has because they’ve never been healthy enough for us to find out. Could this finally be the year? Star PG Gilbert Arenas is healthy at last (knock on wood) and SF Carmelo Anthony is playing like a guy who just realized that he was somehow taken ahead of Dwyane Wade in the 2003 draft. The additions of Chauncey Billups and Rudy Gay add some much needed depth, but a serious deficiency in the big-man categories loom large over the Bears. Their guard play is the best in the league, but they may be fatally short on FG%, Blocks, Rebounds, and Turnovers. I’m tempted to give in to the siren song of alluring guard play, but at the end of the day, you need some height. PRETENDER

8. Bridgewater Phenoms – After a very strong finish last season, Bridgewater looked like a team poised to elevate itself to the elite of the EHBA. That said, windows to win are small in basketball, and you need to take advantage of them when you can. Last season’s semi-final matchup with Tijuana in the playoffs was a de-facto championship game, as both squads looked far superior to either banged-up clubs from Tokyo or Montreal. Although the game went literally to the wire, in the end Tijuana prevailed and the rest is championship history. A year later, and suddenly Bridgewater looks like a much different club. With Kobe Bryant getting older, Vince Carter getting more brittle and whiny by the day, Andre Miller suddenly terrible, and a suspect post-presence, Bridgewater needs to capitalize now or risk falling behind the rest of the league. For now, though, they’re still in this thing. CONTENDER

9. Las Vegas Lizards – With Chris Paul and Danny Granger, this team always has a chance. They’ll score points in bunches and knock down threes with reckless abandon, and their post game is surprisingly strong with the addition of Marcus Camby and continued maturation of Al Horford. Don’t let the opening week loss fool you—in many ways, Las Vegas played better than Montreal. They could surprise a lot of teams this year. CONTENDER

10. Peoria Bricklayers – Simply put, this is not a good team. They weren’t a good team last year, and the biggest change they’ve had since then was losing Yao Ming for the season to injury. Mismanagement in the front office has badly hurt the club, from trading superstar Jason Kidd for Stephen Jackson, only to ship him out months later for a 2nd rd. pick, to drafting injured journeyman Josh Howard 2nd overall in this year’s draft. Peoria is a club in disarray and things don’t look particularly bright for the future. PRETENDER

11. Tijuana Matadors – The defending champs had a rough week, running into a brick wall in Weymouth. But don’t let the fact that Weymouth would’ve beat just about any team in the league last week fool you—Tijuana played poorly. Their guard play was not up to par, and their big men just weren’t scoring the points they needed. New PG Ramon Sessions has been a major disappointment, and the breakout many were expecting from Tyrus Thomas definitely did not happen last week. If Jason Kidd and company can right the ship, we’ll look back on this week’s debacle and laugh. If they can’t, maybe we’ll realize that Tijuana rode some role players’ career years-- * cough*troymurphyandnenehilario*cough*-- all the way to a championship. Here’s betting they improve next week. CONTENDER

12. Rakeville Crows – Aside from a handful of players, Rakeville stinks. They don’t have much in the way of depth and management is too lackadaisical to make changes on the fly. They could be in big trouble this year. Look for a poorly handled fire sale at the deadline. PRETENDER

_____________________________________________

Power Rankings (based on roto standings):

1. Weymouth (-)
2. Las Vegas (-)
3. Montreal (-)
4. Colorado(-)
5. Tokyo (-)
6. Fitchburg (-)
7. South Carolina (-)
8. Dublin (-)
9. Tijuana (-)
10. Bridgewater (-)
11. Peoria (-)
12. Rakeville (-)

__________________________________________________

League Notes:

-After trading #1 overall pick Blake Griffin to Dublin last week, Colorado owner Mike Comtois was seen boarding a return flight from Ireland with a crowbar as his carry-on item. Griffin mysteriously went out with a severe knee injury the next day.

-After weeks of haggling, trade talks between Montreal and Weymouth regarding Tim Duncan appeared to die once the season began, reportedly because the Pony Express to the island of Weymouth doesn't deliver during the season, and Weymouth has no phones or computers, per decree of their King, His Majesty Nikolai Bruceus Minimus III.

-Rakeville GM Jack Reed was reportedly ecstatic after picking up Tyler Hansborough, Darko Milicic, and Andrew Bogut in the draft, not because they are good players (they all suck), but because they're all white. Reed is a well-known racist.

Full Court Press: February 2009 Cover

2009-02-01T09:33:00.005-05:00

San Diego Chronicle: January 19, 2009

2009-01-21T20:12:00.003-05:00

Full Court Press: January 2009 Cover

2008-12-30T00:33:00.007-05:00

Full Court Press: Off The Bench - Week 6

2008-12-01T16:15:00.007-05:00

Have the defending champion Death Piggys finally learned how to actually defend this season? Kevin Garnett and company have made it back near the top of the EHBA standings, for now, but have they done enough to propel them to the top of the Full Court Press Power Rankings?

Power Rankings - Week 6
By Courtney Hysocs; Full Court Press

Five weeks down, sixteen to go before fans find out if their team is for real or just showing off for a limited time. The EHBA is starting to find its shape after 5 weeks of play, and teams are starting to show their true colors. There's no way to tell which colors will stay and which will change, but trends thus far can help paint the picture of what's to come. Full Court Press ranks the 12 teams based on how they've been doing lately and how tight a grasp they have on their current trend of winning or losing.

*denotes a team under .500 heading into Week 6, thus is a more significant loss
**denotes a team over .500 heading into Week 6, thus is a more significant win

12.) Colorado Bears (0-5)
Losses vs Peoria, Tokyo, South Carolina, Montreal, Rakeville*
Wins vs None
It's all gotta start with the Bears. They have the core of a team that should succeed, but injuries have been holding them back, not to mention the most difficult schedule through the first 5 weeks of play. However, until things start turning around, and the team wins a game they've gotta be at the bottom of this list.

11.) Dublin Bar Brawlers (1-4)
Losses vs Tokyo, South Carolina, Montreal, Las Vegas*
Wins vs Rakeville
The Irishmen were able put up their first win this season (vs RAK in week 4), but another weak performance against Las Vegas in Week 5 brings them right back down to earth.

10.) Las Vegas Lizards (2-3)
Losses vs South Carolina, Montreal, Rakeville*
Wins vs Bridgewater**, Dublin
After losing their first three straight games of the season, the Lizards put together a pair of impressive victories in weeks 4 and 5. It's enough to bump them up one spot, but let's wait to see what this team can do when the rest of the roster gets healthy before we push them any further.

9.) Weymouth Dumpsta Divers (2-3)
Losses vs Fitch, Tokyo, Peoria
Wins vs Tijuana, Bridgewater**
A big win in week 1 against Tijuana helped put Weymouth basketball in the sights of most pundits, but they quickly fell to the wayside, soring just 16 out of 36 possible points in the past 4 weeks. They haven't had the easiest of schedules thus far, many say that they've have a much better record based on their play on the court if they just had a break here or there. keep an eye on Weymouth to move up the rankings drastically if they can pull off a big win in South Carolina in Week 6.

8.) Tijuana Matadors (2-3)
Losses vs Weymouth*, Tokyo, Montreal
Wins vs Peoria**, South Carolina**
The Matadors, though they sit near the bottom of the standings, have put together two very impressive wins on the road in Peoria and at home against South Carolina. The talent on the court deserves a better spot in the standings and fans should expect good things from Tijuana as they face a fairly easy schedule in the coming weeks.

7.) Peoria Bricklayers (2-3)
Losses vs Tijuana, Fitch, Bridgewater
Wins vs Colorado, Weymouth
Here's the thing with Peoria: They may siting 5th place, just 2.5 games back from first place heading into Week 6, but they rank 5th from the bottom in overall production. Both of their wins come against teams currently under .500 and all three of their losses come at the hands of teams above .500. If they keep this up all season they'll be the most predictable team in the EHBA.

6.) Bridgewater Phenoms (3-2)
Losses vs Weymouth*, Las Vegas*
Wins vs Fitch**, Rakeville, Peoria**
Bridgewater losses to teams they should beat, and they beat teams they should lose to. Fans just don't know what to expect each week. Two losses in a row to sub .500 teams pushed them down in the rankings (and standings), and then out of nowhere they beat a sturdy Peoria team in week 5 to boost up not only their rankings but their spirits as well. The Phenoms have a bumpy schedule ahead of them, facing off against two bottom feeders (Dublin and Colorado) and two upper tier teams (South Carolina and Tokyo) in the next 4 weeks.

5.)Rakeville Crows (3-2)
Losses vs Bridgewater, Dublin*
Wins vs Montreal**, Las Vegas, Colorado
The Crows got some revenge against Montreal in Week 1, but it didn't help the sour taste left in their mouth after last year's finals defeat. The crows win more often than they lose, but many feel its a matter of luck as they boast the 2nd worst production rankings int he EHBA (only Colorado has put up worse numbers so far this season). They rank last in the league in both points and assists, and only the Lizards are worse as rebounding. We'll keep Rakeville at #5 for now, just because they put up more W's than L's, and they beat Bridgewater earlier in the season, but a loss in Tijuana could really shake things down for the Crows.

4.) Fitch Foo Fighers (3-2)
Losses vs Bridgewater, South Carolina
Wins vs Weymouth, Peoria**, Tokyo**
Fitch currently sits in the middle of the standings, less than 5 games away from first. They've had some impressive victories against Peoria and 1st place Tokyo. They've had the most difficult schedule to start the season - their competitor with the worst current record was Weymouth, who currently is just 1 game under .500. They're holding their own thus far, but the road doesn't get any easier with defending champs Montreal coming into town in Week 6.

3.) South Carolina Rebels (4-1)
Losses vs Tijuana*
Wins vs Las Vegas, Dublin, Colorado, Fitch**
The expansion Rebels have put up some impressive numbers rankings them 5th in total production, but some critics credit it to their easy schedule through the first five weeks of play. Thus far South Carolina has only faced one team currently above .500. They keep winning however and until they stop that trend they'll stick around the top of the rankings.

2.) Montreal Death Piggys (4-1)
Losses to Rakeville*
Wins vs Las Vegas, Dublin, Colorado, Tijuana
The defending champs are back, but they couldn't quite crack the top of the rankings just yet. The difference between Montreal and Tokyo is simply their schedule. They've beaten 3 of the same teams so far this season and they currently sit just one game apart in the standings and 1 spot from each other in total production (MON is 2nd and TKO is 3rd, separated by just .5 points). Montreal is going to have to push themselves above the pack in order to overtake 1st place in these rankings.

1.) Tokyo Vegans (4-1)
Losses to Fitch
Wins vs Dublin, Colorado, Tijuana, Weymouth
Tokyo has sat in 1st place all season. Even after a loss they held onto the top of the standings. The rank 3rd in overall production and lead the league in free throw percentage, total points scored, assists, and steals. Right now they're the team everyone is gunning for. They haven't had a difficult schedule thus far, but they've won each game handily. They face off against four teams in a row that currently sit above .500. If there was a time to prove they deserved the number 1 rankings, this will be it.

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Don't agree with Courtney Hysocs? Let him know by posting a comment to this story.

Full Court Press: Off The Bench - Week 4

2008-11-17T20:11:00.016-05:00

Injuries can plaque even the best teams, but when mixed with inconsistency and inefficiency they can be detrimental to a team's success. The Colorado Bears and Las Vegas Doggs have had such a mix to start the season, and it's the main reason they currently sit last in the EHBA standings, heading into Week 4.

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Excuses, Excuses
By Clarence Cutter and Courtney Hysocs

Every team has excuses for playing poorly. Everything from "lack of fundamentals" to "lack of teamwork" to "the distracting hooter girls in row 7" has been heard a thousand times. Three things usually stick out: Injuries. Inconsistency. Inefficiency.

These three things will undoubtedly doom a franchise. Such as the case of the Colorado Bears and Las Vegas Lizards, two teams who felt like they had a legitimate chance at making a run into and through the playoffs heading into this season. First off, let's take an in depth look at the reasons the Bears have struggled to get out of the gate.

Injuries: Stars Gilbert Arenas and Manu Ginobili haven't seen the court this year. Sharpshooter Michael Redd has also spent time on the injured list.
Inconsistency: The team is shooting a woeful 41% from the field. Nobody other than Andris Biedrins is shooting over 44.8%. They have been repeatedly pounded on the glass and in blocking shots, which is curious since they were comfortable giving up All-World rebounder/shot blocker Dwight Howard to South Carolina before the start of the season.
Inefficiency: They essentially have all the parts to be a quality club, but these guys are playing like 13 individuals, and not as one team. They've also been plagued by players taking the phrase "Sunday is the day of rest" seriously, leading to some large victory margins.

Bears fans expected the injuries to start the season, as Arenas and Ginobili made their ailments known prior to the first tip off of the season. Michael Redd has missed two week's worth of play, and his return date in currently unknown. Unless they can get some sort of leadership, leadership that may have been lost when they shipped Dwight Howard to South Carolina, fans cannot expect the Bears to right this ship anytime soon.

As for Las Vegas, a team that either won or tied its final 8 games of the 2007/08 regular season to push their way into the playoffs, they are being plagued by injuries in every aspect of their game. let's break down exactly what it is that's been plaguing the Lizards after the first 3 weeks of play.

Injuries: Greg Oden, the man that was supposed to be the savior to this club, made his long awaited debut only to be carted off the court in the first quarter of play, twisting his ankle under the basket. he has since returned to the floor, but he's been careful of his previous injury and perhaps hasn't posted the numbers needed help lead his team to victory. The Lizards also miss the outside shooting game of Mike Dunleavy and Shane Battier, while Monta Ellis, who averaged over 20 points and 1.5 steals per game hasn't seen the court this season and isn't expect back until late December.
Inconsistency: The Lizards' defense is allowing teams to run up and down the court on them every week, as they currently sit last in the league in blocks, rebounds, and steals.
Inefficiency: The Lizards, as a team, are hitting their shots, but they just haven't been able to take that many. They sit second in FG% as a team, but second to last in total points scored and last in 3-pointers made.

This team needs to start taking more chances and putting up more points if they expect to be a contender in this league this season. Their ability to control the ball on both sides of the court is appalling and down right embarrassing to their fans and more importantly themselves.

So what is the answer for Colorado? Do they sit tight and watch the season crumble before it begins, do they make another big time move to try and stop the bleeding, or do they sit back and let whatever plan they have work itself out? GM Mike Comtois was reportedly on vacation at the time this article was written, basking in the Florida sunshine.

How about Las Vegas? Can they blame their terrible start on injuries alone or do they have to do something drastic to push the team in a positive direction? GM Howe Dogg was reportedly too upset at the recent play of both the Stardust University Crazy Horses and Las Vegas Lizards to comment coherently.

Other notable injury concerns:

Josh Smith (South Carolina Rebels)

The Rebels currently sit tied at the top of the EHBA standings so Smith's recent injury hasn't set them back too much. Moving forward it will have an impact however, as Smith adds a key source of defense off the South Carolina bench. His youth and energy helps push the rest of the team to be better at what they do best, and right now that's winning.

"There's no replacing Josh [Smith]. His injury has set us back, but our second tier guys are really stepping up. Guys like Wilson Chandler, OJ Mayo, and Udonis Haslem are really coming up big in crunch time situations. But, I have no doubt we'd have a 2 game lead on Tokyo if we had Josh," were the words from Rebels GM Horace Grant when asked if he preferred MTV or VH1 in a recent interview for a puff piece on EhSPN.com, so you have to assume it's something he and his coaches have been thinking about a lot recently.

Al Harrington (Bridgewater Phenoms)

Both expansion teams were hit by an injury recently. The injury bug took its toll on Bridgewater's Al Harrington, who has been missed for over a week, and is expected to be out for the foreseeable future.

"We could have really used big Al last week, especially his 3's and rebounds. If we had him, I think we could have came home with a win instead of a loss. Hopefully is "back pain/contract issue" can get resolved soon so we can get back on the winning side of things," Coach Carter told reporters after Week 3's loss to Weymouth.

Deron Williams (Tijuana Matadors)

As one of the best point guards in the EHBA, the loss off Deron Williams on the Matadors' offense has been missed. Tijuana has had to rely on Jason Terry and Delonte West to take the point for the majority of the time. Such a transition is difficult to adjust to, especially when the team had been practicing with Williams at the point for the entire off-season.

"Even playing partial time, a guy like Deron Williams can have a major impact on a team. Unfortunately, that impact was a 6-3 loss," Tijuana head coach Saul Smith was quoted to saying to his niece at her 7th birthday party. Unfortunately for her at this time, Smith's niece is really into Tijuana basketball.

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Week 4 In The Key Match Ups
By Courtney Hysocs

(4) Dumpsta Divers at (4) Peoria Bricklayers
The Divers and Bricklayers currently sit tied, both 3 games over .500. It may be too early for either team to separate themselves from the pack, but enough talk has been going on between the two teams to warrant this the "game of the week".Apparently, it has been reported from media covering both teams, that not one person has been able to pronounce Peoria F Kelenna Azubuike or Weymouth F Luc Richard Mbah a Moute's name correctly. It is rumored that whichever owner can pronounce the other team's entire roster properly first, will automatically win the game, regardless of the final score.

(1) Tokyo Vegas at (6) Fitch Foo Fighters

Tokyo currently sits tied at the top of the stands. Fitch shouldn't put up much of a fight against the protein-deprived Vegans in week 4, allowing Tokyo to sit alone on top of the EHBA standings once the week is over.

(6) Rakeville Crows at (10)Dublin Bar Brawlers

This game gives the Crows an opportunity to push their way back toward the top of the standings, but the Brawlers have everyone back healthy and ready for action this week. Dublin is looking to get back into contention and this may be the week they finally put it all together.

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Expectations

Bridgewater over Las Vegas (6-3)
Montreal over Colorado (7-2)
Rakeville over Dublin (5-4)
South Carolina over Tijuana (7-2)
Tokyo over Fitch (7-1)
Peoria over Weymouth (5-3)

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Barely Worth Mentioning....

Rocket's Steve Nash was suspended last week for picking a fight with Las Vegas' injured SF Shane Battier during the two teams' match up last week. "That's what I do. What do you expect?" Nash said, smiling.

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Full Court Press: Off The Bench - Week 3

2008-11-10T16:06:00.010-05:00

Stephen Jackson and the rest of the Bar Brawlers were the latest team to fall to the expansion Rebels, who sit near the top of the standings, along with five other non-playoff teams from a year ago. Now Jackson and Dublin face off against defending champs Allen Iverson and the Montreal Death Piggys in Week 3, the same team that kicked them out of the playoffs a season ago. It's early in the season, but are the first two weeks of the season an aberration or a sign of what's to come?

Off The Bench - Week 3
By: Courtney Hysocs

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Expansion Contention

The EHBA is off to a fast start, with a few surprise teams starting off hot, including both expansion teams, both of whom sit in the top three of the EHBA standings after the first two weeks of the season. South Carolina has had to go through two playoff teams (Las Vegas and Dublin), while Bridgewater faced off against a low ranked Fitch in week 1, but then had to travel to Rakeville to face the 2007/08 runner up.

"As a new team we had something to prove. We went into Rakeville knowing we had to win in order to put this franchise on the map," said Phenom starting shooting guard Kobe Bryant.

The cities of Bridgewater and Rakeville have long owned one of the countries most fierce rivalries, stemming from the EHCC where the Rockets and Weasels have fought it out for 8 years now.

"When you have two teams in such close proximity you're bound to have some conflicts," stated a fan who chose to stick with the Rockets, and all other Rakeville-based teams, when the Weasels moved from Bellingham to Bridgewater in 2003, "...they [Weasels] just couldn't handle the heat so they fled. I can't root for a franchise like that."

The Phenoms, Bellinghams' second pro-team, are now 12-6 in their first season in the EHBA, winning their first two games.

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Surprise! Surprise!

Not only are there a few surprises on top of the EHBA standings, but a few players have stood out in the league that were less than ideal draft picks this year. After just two weeks, here's a few players that have given their new teams high reward so far this season, even if it they were thought to be a risky pick at the time:

R6P7 - Senser Hawes (TKO)
Hawes has seen increased laying time due to the suspension to starter Brad Miller, and Tokyo is reaping all the benefits. Hawes has put up better numbers so far this season than any other layer eligible at Center besides Amare Stoudemire. Hawes laying time, and thus his production, should dwindle in the coming days and weeks however, with Miller's pending return. Still, thus far, great reward for Tokyo with a low round pick.

R6P1 - Tayshawn Prince (COL)
Colorado knew what they had when they picked up Prince at the beginning of the 6th round. Though Tayshawn isn't putting up exceptional numbers in any one category, his overall game is balanced and above average. He has helped the Bears in just about every category, and does not turn the ball over. Seems like a great late round pick thus far.

R2P7 - Ben Gordon (LV)
Gordon wasn't a low round pick, but he's producing like a top 3 keeper on any roster after the first two weeks. He currently sits tied for 2nd in the league in 3TM and tied for 8th in total points. Gordon should continue his production from behind the arc for the Lizards, who drafted him for just that and little else.

R2P12 - Zydrunas Ilgauskas (MTL)
Another not-so-late round pick, Ilgauskas has produced well enough to convince Montreal brass they made the right choice between him and center Chris Kaman at the end of the second round. Ilgauskas doesn't excel in the typical categories expected out of a center such as rebounds and blocks, but he also doesn't hurt in the typical categories expected out of the position such as FG%, FT%, and Turnovers.

R3P1 - Chris Kaman (FIT)
As far as "leftovers" go, Kaman hasn't been too disappointing thus far. He's top three in the EHBA in rebounds, and to 5 in blocks. He's keeping his FG% over .500 so far, and has been a pleasent surprise for the Foo Fighters thus far this season. Fitch was "stuck" picking Kaman after Montreal selected a more well-rounded Igauskas the pick prior. It seems both teams should be happy with their selections.

Honorable Mention
R5P4 - Chris Duhon (TKO) - Tokyo got what they wanted out of Duhon thus far - Assists. Duhon is in the to 10 in the category int he EHBA, but is adding little else to the Vegans' offense.

R6P4 - Travis Outlaw (MTL) - Montreal did get one late round gem, at least based on his performance in the first two weeks of the season. Outlaw has been a great all around layer for the defending champs off their bench.

R4P5 - Luis Scola (TIJ) - Scola has a perfect FT% threw the first two weeks of play, not so typical for a big man.

R7P5 - Grant Hill (LV) - The veteran returned to Las Vegas and is helping mold some of their young talent by giving them a defensive standard to reach and surpass on the court. Hill currently ranks second only to Chris Paul on the Lizards with 11 steals.

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Week 3 In The Key Matchups

South Carolina @ Colorado
Dwight Howard returns to Denver to face off against his former team. The Bears currently sit in last lace int he EHBA, but that can be accredited to injuries more than poor play. Look for the expansion team to make it three in a row at Colorado's expense.

Dublin @ Montreal
Last year Montreal kicked the Brawlers out of the playoffs on their way to an EHBA championship. Allen Iverson and Kevin Garnett should help propel Montreal back to the to half of the standings after this matchup is over.

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Expectations

Rakeville over Las Vegas (5-4)
Montreal over Dublin (7-2)
South Carolina over Colorado (6-3)
Tokyo over Tijuana (7-2)
Peoria over Fitch (6-3)
Bridgewater over Weymouth (7-2)

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Don't agree with Courtney Hysocs? Make sure you let him know in the comments section of this article.

It's a Block Party in South Carolina

2008-11-02T08:30:00.003-05:00

Coming into Sunday's action, The South Carolina Rebels have tallied 29 blocks as a team this week. Led by freaks-of-nature Dwight Howard and Josh Smith, South Carolina will win it's inaugural week over Las Vegas 6-3. When asked about the trade that sent Howard and Jameer Nelson to South Carolina, Team Owner Matt Austin said "He (GM Mike Comtois) may have gotten some quality depth, but everyone should plan on 'punting' blocks every week".

Next up for the Rebels is the Dublin Bar Brawlers, who have a supreme block specialist themselves, in injured Center Marcus Camby.

Full Court Press: Mock Draft

2008-10-25T13:44:00.015-04:00

The EHBA draft is Sunday and teams will be looking to build their teams up for a run at the EHBA title. Will Derek Rose use what he learned at Memphis to help lead his new team to a EHBA championship? And who will be the lucky winner of his services for years to come?

2008 1st Round Mock Draft
By: Full Court Press Staff

With the 2nd annual EHBA Draft just around the corner, players involved have their bags packed and are awaiting the news of their new home. On the other side of the fence, players that already have their names sewn on the jerseys are eager to add some new bodies to their practice court to prepare for Tuesday's season opener. Who's going where? No one besides the General Managers know for sure, but FCP's team of experts will try their best to predict to first round of Sunday's draft.

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1.) Fitch Foo Fighters
Biggest Holes: PG, C

The Fighters didn't fight all too well last season, finishing last in the league and solidifying the first overall pick in this year's draft pretty easily. They have a lot of holes to fill if they want to compete for a playoff spot in 2008/09, including a better perimeter shooting game and a bigger threat down low than Kendrick Perkins. I really can't see Fitch making a huge run at a playoff spot this season, even with a phenomenal draft. Rumor has it they'll be targeting a solid point guard in the draft, pushing Dwayne Wayne to their SG position. This would be a good move for Fitch, if nothing else to help them with their lack of players putting up good assists numbers. I think the Fighters will take a risk with their first round, hoping for a high reward down the road. Their second round should focus on a big man if possible.

Prediction: Derrick Rose (CHI - PG)

2.) Tijuana Matadors
Biggest Holes: Either F or C

The Matadors can be a bit flexible in their first round draft pick, picking the best player available. Their main concern in the draft itself should be defense however, as they lack the ideal threat in steals and blocks. Currently Tijuana has Chris Bosh and Jermain O'Neil pencilled in as their two starting centers, but either one of them would make a better option in their third forward position. Look for Tijuana to take one of the best available and move their roster around to accommodate.

Prediction: Al Horford (ATL - PF, C)

3.) Peoria Bricklayers
Biggest Holes: SG

Peoria brass as been trying to trade for another big man option this off season, but to no avail. oddly enough, defense is not the Bricklayers' weak point. They currently are without a starting shooting guard, and are in desperate need of a scoring threat. Peoria ownership was very disappointed with last season's performance, as they were expected to put up a good fight for a playoff spot but came nowhere near by season's end. They may have dug themselves a hole that may take some time to come out from, and with that being the case look for Peoria to go young with their first pick.

Prediction: LaMarcus Aldridge (PF, C)

4.) Tokyo Vegans
Biggest Holes: SF, PF

Though both Al Jefferson and Amare Stoudemire could play power forward for the Vegans, look for them to be the team's two big men down low and for Tokyo to fill their need for a small forward and power forward in the draft. Scoring should not be a concern for the Vegan, as all but one of their starting six scored over 1000 points last season. The team should be interested in bring up their assists and steals. With a solid draft, this team should easily be in contention for a playoff spot. Easily the best shot of the non playoff teams from last season at making a run.
Predictions: Richard Jefferson (MIL - SF)

5.) Colorado Bears
Biggest Holes: PF, G

The Bears were one of only two teams (Las Vegas being the other) to make a move this off season, trading away veteran big man Tim Duncan for scoring machine Carmelo Anthony. Melo will give Colorado fans something to cheer about this season, but he'll need some help from this year's draft if the Bears want a shot at a playoff berth. With their starting PG [Gilbert Arenas] and starting SG [Manu Ginobili] expected to be out through the rest of the calender year, and possibly into the next, the Bears might be looking to fill the hole created in the first round of the draft. Michael Redd can always be moved to a F position if/when Colorado's star guards come back from injury.

Prediction: Devan Harris (NJ - PG)

6.) Weymouth Dunpsta Divers
Biggest Holes: PF

The Dumpsta Divers, or "LeBron and Friends" as some fans have dumbed the team, needs a great draft in order to not move backwards this season. They held onto two starting centers this off season, helping them fill the new position created by the league. Unfortunately for the Divers, neither of them are eligible at any other position, giving Weymouth less flexibility than other teams. The team is without a starting power forward, and none of their current players know how to play the position, so look for the Divers to make it a priority in Sunday's draft, but they still might go with the best available player in the first round.

Predictions: Chris Kaman (LAC - C)

7.) Las Vegas Lizards
Biggest Holes: G, F

The Lizards have a pretty flexible roster, and thus their first pick could end up going in various directions. On one hand they lack a three point game past small forward Mike Dunleavy. On the other hand, defense has to be a big concern for Vegas fans consider only Chris Paul stole the ball more than 90 times last season. Vegas brass had a difficult time letting Monta Ellis go in the off season for just that reason, and may be interested in having the back up guard sit on their bench for the first three months of the season. No matter what, look for Vegas to stay young in the draft.

Prediction: Michael Beasley (MIA - PF, SF)

8.) South Carolina Rebels
Biggest Holes: C, G

The first expansion team to select in Sunday's draft should be South Carolina, and they'll be looking to pick up their first starting center with their first pick, as they don't have any player currently on their roster that can play down low. They could also use an extra guard, but it shouldn't be nearly as much of a priority as getting a big man. The Rebels would benefit from trying to move up in the draft, as the top 3 center-eligible players should be taken by time the 8th pick comes around. If not they'll have their choice of the top of the second tier centers available in Sunday's draft.

Prediction: Brad Miller (SAC - C)

9.) Dublin Bar Brawlers
Biggest Holes: C, F

The Brawlers will also be looking to fill a hole at their center position, as only Marcus Camby can play the position for Dublin. Camby put up numbers of two players last season, but fans cannot expect him to carry the load all by himself for a second straight year. With the options at center dwindling by time Dublin comes around to pick, look for the Brawlers to pick the best available player to help them win, and worry about that hole later on in the draft or via trade.
Prediction: Corey Magette (GS - SG, SF)

10.) Bridgewater Phenoms
Biggest Holes: C

The other expansion team in this draft will also need to fill a hole at center in this draft, but don;t expect them to settle for the left overs in the first round. Their roster if very flexible, with many players able to play multiple positions at will. Look for the Phenoms to solidify their outside shoot game with a big name in the first round, worrying about picking up another big man later on in the draft.

Predictions: Ray Allen (BOS - SG)

11.) Rakeville Crows
Biggest Holes: G

The runners up in last year's championship game will be looking for that boost from this year's draft to put them back in the championship in 2008/09. Their down low game is solid enough to not worry about it in the first round, and their perimeter game is more than adequate. Look for the Crows to pick up a player than will help move the ball around more and create more assists and scoring opportunities for their already potent offense.

Prediction: Rajon Rondo (BOS - PG)

12.) Montreal Death Piggys
Biggest Holes: C, F

The champion Death Piggys are in a position already to make another run at the EHBA crown. They're hoping to teach current starting power forward, and last season first overall draft pick, Kevin Garnett to play down low for Montreal in 2008/09 in order to fill that hole on the roster. They have enough flexibility and not that many holes to fill, which gives the Piggys plenty of options with the first pick in Sunday's draft. As with a few teams with a hole at center, don't expect Montreal to worry about picking up the leftovers at the position.

Prediction: Pejas Stojakovic (NO - SG, SF)

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Don't agree with FCP? Post your 1st round mock draft in the comments section.

Full Court Press: Preseason Report - 2007/08 Playoff Teams

2008-10-23T13:25:00.013-04:00

Tracy McGrady and Allen Iverson have been hard at work in Montreal. They say they're ready to defend their EHBA championship. The question around the league is whether or not both will be in Canada come the start of the season and who will they will be defending against come playoff time.

EHBA Preseason Report - Last Years' Playoff Teams
By: Courtney Hysocs, Full Court Press

As the EHBA enters its second season, fans are wondering what to expect. The league has already lost two playoff teams to rival leagues. The lack of off season action have left fans bored and wondering if the league will bring some sort of drama to their lives. There was only one trade made this off season and it came within a month after the 2007/08 season came to an end. Since then, EHBA General Managers haven't talked to press all off season, until they had to report the players they did not plan to resign for the new season.

The lack of action taken by EHBA teams isn't bad for everyone. It means reigning champion Montreal should be in a good place entering the 2008/09 season. Since they won the first EHBA championship last Spring, only Colorado and Las Vegas have altered their roster, trying to compete with the champion Death Piggys. Who else will look at challenging the champs this upcoming season? If teams are unwilling to make roster moves before the season, it may all depend on this year's draft, set for Sunday, October 26th.

With that in mind, let's take a look to see how each team stands compared to the champs going into this year's draft.

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Montreal Death Piggys
2007/08 Outcome - 1st place; beat Rakeville in the EHBA Championship

Well, we need to start with the standard set by last year's champs. The Death Piggys set the example last season, leading the league in three of the nine possible categories, the most of any team, and setting weekly records on both sides of the ball (Points Scored and Steals). There's been talk of a shake up going into the 2008/2009 season, with owner Patrick Brown wanting to move up in the draft. Who can blame him as his team is set to pick last in each of the first three rounds on Sunday. No one is quite sure anything will happen before Sunday, but if it does it could help shape the defending champions' 2008/09 season for sure.

Montreal Pre-Draft Roster

PG - Allen Iverson
SG - Tracy McGrady
G - None
SF - Danny Granger
PF - Kevin Garnett
F - Andrei Kirilenko
C - Mehmet Okur
C - None
UTIL - None

Biggest Assets: FT%, REB, ST
Biggest Needs: 3PT, AST, BLK

The Death Piggys should be looking for another guard in this year's draft. Another big man should also be on their radar. Look for Montreal to make a move up in the draft in order to grab a prominent player that will fill these needs.

Rakeville Crows
2007/08 Outcome - 2nd place; lost in EHBA finals to Montreal

Rakeville had a surprisingly positive season in 2007/08, especially since ownership was looking to unload a hefty contract owned to starting point guard Steve Nash before the halfway point in the season. Many critics thought this would weigh heavily on not only Nash during the season, but the entire locker room as well. The team proved otherwise, leaving the Crows to the EHBA finals in their first season. The Crows have their work cut out for them however, as they are set to select 11th in each of the first three rounds of Sunday's draft.

Rakeville Pre-Draft Roster

PG - Steve Nash
SG - Jason Richardson
G - None
SF - Gerald Wallace
PF - Rashard Lewis
F - None
C - Andrew Bogut
C - Samuel Dalembert
UTIL - None

Biggest Assets: 3PT, ST, REB
Biggest Needs: AST, PTS

For whatever reason, Rakeville sent young Al Horford packing prior to the start of the off season. Horford was never invited to training camp or even to the team's summer BBQ. Horford will probably end up being drafted in the top half of the draft on Sunday, and may never wear a Rockets' uniform again. As for the Rockets, look for them to target a back up PG to fill any hole injured Steve Nash may create. A back up PF may also be in their sites as they may want to try to bulk up on blocks and points scored.

Dublin Bar Brawlers
2007/08 Outcome - 4th Place; lost in the semi-final round to Montreal

The only European based team in the EHBA surprised many last season with their ability to talk talented players into playing home games across the Atlantic. The Bar Brawlers won 14 of their 21 games last season, second only to Montreal for most in the league and finished just 1.5 games back from 1st place at the end of the regular season, missing out on a first round playoff Bye to Rakeville by just 1 game. Dublin lead the league in both FT% and 3 Pointers made at the end of the 2007/08 season. The Bar Brawlers look to return to the playoffs this season, with the heart of their roster still in tact.

Dublin Pre-Draft Roster

PG - Chauncy Billups
SG - Kevin Martin
G - Richard Hamilton
SF - Stephen Jackson
PF - Shawn Marion
F - None
C - Marcus Camby
C - None
UTIL - None

Biggest Assets: FT%, 3PTM,
Biggest Needs: REB, BLK, PTS

Even if Marcus Camby has a similar season as he did in 2007/08, the Brawlers will be in need of another big man to bulk up on rebounds and pick up some extra blocks. Look for them to fill their second C position early in the draft, as many teams will be looking to do with the added position the league has imposed for this upcoming season.

Las Vegas Lizards
2007/08 Outcome - 6th Place; lost in first round to Boston

Many thought the Lizards had no place in the playoffs last year. They were out of contention for most of the season, but thanks to a late season surge lead by team MVP Chris Paul, the Lizards snuck into the playoffs and met the Boston Danawolves in the first round. The Lizards found themselves severely out matched, even though Las Vegas had shut out Boston just 3 weeks prior to the playoffs. They lead the league in FG% and posted the only 9-0 victory in the league, but had no shot last year at winning a championship.

PG - Chris Paul
SG - Brandon Roy
G - None
SF - Mike Dunleavy
PF - Paul Gasol
F - None
C - Tim Duncan
C - Greg Oden
UTIL - None

Biggest Assets: FG%, PTS and potentially BLK and REB
Biggest Needs: 3PTM, ST, and AST

Las Vegas' 6-man roster is pretty even, though, besides Dunleavy, they really lack the threat of a 3-Point attack. The Lizards traded team leading scored Carmelo Anthony for big man Tim Duncan at the start of the off season to give the team a much needed boost down low, and with Greg Oden starting his career after a season ending injury last year, their presence should be felt across the league. Look for the Lizards to help their attack from behind the arc by going after a F who gets some steals along with 3PTM in the draft. I also wouldn't be surprised if they look to solidify another big man in the top 3 rounds.

BridgeH2O: Boston Moves To Bridgewater

2008-10-15T02:28:00.029-04:00

An EHBA team made multiple changes in this off-season, including a change in cities. Kobe Bryant (pictured here at a Phenoms practice) is waiting in anticipation for the up coming season to show what he and his new look team can do.

Boston Moves To Bridgewater
By Stevie Miller, BridgeH2O Today

With low attendance and little excitement about having an EHBA team in their town, Boston is losing their team to the city of Bridgewater. Former owner Dana Jennings, due to a huge financial loss which the team was costing him, had to sell the team. “I didn’t have much of a choice, with incredibly high price contracts & costs and not enough profits I just couldn’t afford it anymore.” The Danawolves had a good season last year with a 15-6 record and finishing in 3rd place. Even with a good team, Boston fans did not show. The Danawolves had the lowest attendance in the entire EHBA, even lower than the Rakeville Crows whose arena only holds 6,000 fans. “With the record we had and a superstar like Kobe (Bryant), we should have brought in a (expletive) load of fans” said Jennings.

New owner Mike Claffey bought the team to make changes, and changes he made. He moved the team to Bridgewater and changed the team name to the Phenoms. “Bridgewater is a great sports town with dedicated fans who won’t give up on their teams. I’m sure we won’t have an attendance problem in this city” said the new owner. Claffey didn’t stop there though. He revamped the entire organization, from GM to players. “I thought the Phenoms needed a fresh start all around when we made the move out of Boston.”

Claffey hired Dana Barros as their GM & Head of basketball operations and Vin Baker as assistant GM. It was up to Barros and Baker to make the decisions about coaching staff and players. For the head coach position they brought in Coach Ken Carter. Carter was the former Richmond high school coach and current Slam Ball coach. Coach Carter is excited for the upcoming season, “I was a little hesitant in leaving a great Slam Ball team like the Rambles, but when you get an opportunity to coach in the EHBA with a talented staff like we have, I had to take it.” The rest of that staff includes Assistant Coach Jesus Shuttlesworth, Defensive Coach Gary Payton, Shooting Coach Walter McCarty, and Head Scout Rick Fox.

As for the players, Barros decided cut all but three players from the roster. Kobe Bryant, Andre Igoudala, and Emeka Okafor were the only players that were resigned in the off-season. “We decided to keep the best and get rid of the rest” said Barros. The Phenoms also signed free agents David West, Vince Carter, and Andre Miller in the off-season. Now they are looking forward to the upcoming draft on Sunday. “I’m seeing some great talents out there that can really help our team if we can get them” said Fox.

There have been rumors that the only reason that Claffey hired Barros was due to the fact that he actually lives in Rakeville, Bridgewater’s rival town for sports. When asked about it, Claffey said “um yeah, of course that is the reason I hired him. Nothing better than to watch Rakeville get destroyed by their arch nemesis while the guy from their hometown is the reason for that ass kicking. It’s a beautiful thing. Why else would I hire Dana Barros, all he does is smoke weed everyday.”

The Phenoms will start their season against the Fitch Foo Fighters, and they can’t wait. “I just want to get this started so we can make our run towards a championship” said Bryant. One thing is for certain, The Sandy South Arena will be rocking all season long.

Expansion team finds Rival

2008-10-10T18:31:00.003-04:00

The EHBA held their expansion draft today. Bridgewater and South Carolina made their selections, with stars such as Kobe Bryant and Dirk Nowitzki finding new homes. After the draft, South Carolina President Matt Austin was contacted by Peoria Bricklayers GM Dave Grubb. Austin, speaking about his need to fill the void at Center, inquired about the availability of Yao Ming. Unfortunately, he was met with a great deal of resistance, which escalated to a full scale outburst and the development of a rivalry. Grubb said he'd be willing to part with any of his players outside his top 3, Austin pointed out that even Grubb wasn't sure who he was keeping (due to their lack of talent).

Mr. Grubb was anything but respectful to the new member of the league, ending the conversation with "you're going down b*tch". Welcome to the EHBA South Carolina... And for David Allen Grubb, watch yourself in Week 7 when you come down South. The raucous Fort Sumter crowd will be pumped up for your inevitable defeat.

EHSPN: Black Sheep of Sin City

2008-09-12T19:06:00.005-04:00

The Lizards have been hard at work this off season, but can recent acquisition Tim Duncan (seem here taking questions from Las Vegas reporters after his trade from Golden) help take Vegas to the next level? More importantly, the Lizards' front office better have something else planned before the 2008/09 season starts if they want to leap over the rest of the playoff contenders.

Black Sheep Of Sin City
By Max Power; EHSPN

The Las Vegas Lizards, currently an afterthought in the City of Sin, is trying to make waves this season. They were one of the best teams in the second half of the 2007/08 regular season and, besides the team they traded with [Golden] were to only team this off season to attempt to better their roster thus far via trade. The team wants to prove to a spoiled fan base that they are serious about bringing home a championship, and putting Las Vegas on the map as the first and only triple-threat championship city in the Project EH.

The Lizards, after a quick exit in the 2007/08 playoffs to a strong Boston team, have been hard at work this off season, trying to figure out exactly what they'll need to compete at the highest level in 2008/09. They wasted no time, trading for big man Tim Duncan less than a week after the 2007/08 season ended.

"Tim's here for two reasons. First off to help groom young [Greg] Oden into the star we believe he can become," commented Head Coach and General Manager Charles Barkley, "Secondly, and most importantly, to give this team the dominating big man presence we lacked last season," commented Head Coach and General Manager Charles Barkley.

The Vegas front office informed all players that none of them had a guaranteed roster spot going into the 2008/09 season. Only six players will earn a roster spot, with the other 6 being dispersed into the 2008 EHBA Draft to be held later this Fall. Players must have taken the message seriously because many of them have already been showing up to the Lizards' camp, working out and practicing with coaches and trainers, hoping to prove their dedicated to Barkley. Chris Paul, Pau Gasol, Mike Dunleavy, Tim Duncan, Greg Oden, Monta Ellis, and Andrea Bargnami all showed up yesterday ready to show the franchise they were serious about making a run at a championship this upcoming season.

"It's great to see the dedication from these players, especially since they know that not all of them will be back," Barkley told reporters, "hopefully we'll have a chance to reacquire the ones we like but can't keep in the upcoming draft, but everyone knows there's no guarantees."

"We know a few of us are on the fence, that's just the way it works," Dunleavy commented after an intense workout with current teammate Monta Ellis, "It's obvious to most of us that saw the revolving door of various players during the playoffs last season. Nobodies spot is safe."

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Other Las Vegas Notes

-- GM Charles Barkley has been rumored to be interested in making another trade before the roster cut deadline. It is believed he'd like to move up in the 2008 EHBA Draft, sources close to Barkley have stated.

-- The finishing touches on the Lizards' new stadium, located just off the Vegas strip, are almost finished, and the team will be able to host their home opener on time. The Lizards spent all of the 2007/08 season playing at the Stardust University Arena. Naming rights of the new stadium are yet to be finalized.

Rakeville Times: Stonewall Defense

2008-04-10T15:14:00.003-04:00

Under the night sky, Crows Andrew Bogut blocks a shot from Danawolves Guard Ray Allen as Rakeville goes on to beat Boston and head to the finals.

Stonewall Defense
By Aviator McShadeless, Rakeville Times

With Steve Nash and Rashard Lewis on the court in the final seconds of Rakeville’s semi-final matchup against Boston in the open-air festival that was the Claffey Coliseum, the Crows were stunned when it was Andrew Bogut who provided the late game heroics, lifting the second seed over the Danawolves and into the EHBA Championship game.

“It got late in the game and Darko [Milicic] and I were like, ‘No one gets in here,” said Bogut, whose 3 blocks and 14 rebounds on Sunday helped fend off the Boston assault. “Holding the paint was a challenge. Shaq is huge, and Kobe [Bryant]was having a great game. We just had a feeling we could hold them.”

The Crows defense stymied Boston in the waning minutes, taking blocks, steals and rebounds along with field goal percentage and three pointers. Surprisingly, Rakeville did not use any 24-hour contract players throughout the series. It was a strategy they used to propel themselves into the playoffs in the second half of the season, but none were signed for the matchup.

“It’s not that signing those players wouldn’t have helped us, but in a short series like this, we needed to be certain the players on the court were ones we could trust,” said Team President Tim Legler. “We have a lot of good players in Rakeville, and we wanted to give them a chance to be great.”

And while no one will mistake Andrew Bogut for Pedro Martinez, his performance last night may be considered one of the best in Rakeville postseason sports. If the Crows can go on and win in Montreal, expect him to be featured prominently in the championship DVD.

“This is what we pay for,” said Bogut. “Since we were little, winning an EHBA title was something you’d pretend to do on the playground. The chance to compete for it now is a wonderful opportunity. I just wish I didn’t have to wear a stupid mask.”

Rakeville Times: Home field advantage?

2008-03-25T16:09:00.005-04:00

Constuction begins at the Claffey Coliseum as crews install the Crows basketball court on the field surface for the team's upcoming playoff game. It will be the first outdoor game in EHBA history, and the first outdoor basketball playoff game ever.

Home field advantage?
By Aviator McShadeless, Rakeville Times

The decision was made Sunday night, as the Crows closed in on securing a bye for the EHBA playoffs. The Rakeville Convention Center, the team’s defacto home court, simply wouldn’t be large enough for the spectacle forthcoming. So construction began to transform the Claffey Coliseum into a basketball stadium.

Holding a meager 6,000 fans, use the convention center was a compromise between the city and team. The team wanted to play at Rakeville Central High School, the city wanted them out of the gridlocked downtown, and out of the city in general.

“The team didn’t seem dedicated to the city and to winning,” said City Councilman Grant Elvine. “We have some great professional clubs in the city, and in comparison, the Crows organization was dreadful. What kind of professional team wants to play in a high school? I don’t care if it is one of the best in the area, it is still a high school.”

The Crows didn’t have many options. Rakeville University does not have a basketball program, and the team couldn’t build a new arena soon enough to start the season. Plans for a new arena are still stalled to this day, and the team expects the convention center to be its home for the next few seasons.

“It isn’t the best option,” said team President Tim Legler about the convention center. “It is disappointing when you go to Montreal and Dublin and see these world class facilities, then you play in Rakeville and you feel like you’re playing for a rec league. I think it demoralized our players early on.”

What seemed like a negative quickly turned into a positive.

“There was never an empty seat,” said Point Guard Steve Nash. “We know we are playing in front of people who love basketball. It took me a while to learn that here. A couple thousand folks packing a small place is better than a couple thousand in giant, empty arena. It was in our heads at the start of the season, but these fans turned it around. They are rabid. Our opponents can hear every chant and taunt. I think it is great.”

Team officials decided that more seating was needed for the playoffs, especially after the Crows had clawed back into the hunt, garnering the second seed.

“Basketball may not be as popular as baseball and football here, but playoff basketball is something everyone can enjoy,” said Legler. “I think the 50,000 people we can fit into the Coliseum is perfect for a stage like this.”

While this option may not be doable in the winter, but the playoffs are right on that line. Players may be a little cold but once the game starts, but all of that will disappear.

“We’ve all played in parks in any type of weather when we were kids,” said Rashard Lewis. “This is nothing. I hope it snows.”

Wake Up Call

2008-03-22T17:50:00.006-04:00

Does anyone ever sleep in Vegas? Gamblers at the black jack tables from dusk till dawn, clubs full at noon and midnight, flights coming in at 6am and leaving at 1am. One could argue that the new ownership of the Las Vegas Lizards weren't ready for the Vegas lifestyle in their inaugural season in the EHBA, but they've turned some heads in the past few weeks and now find themselves in the drivers seat of one of the final two playoffs spots. How many red bulls are they going to have to drink to keep it up?

By: Max Powers/Reno Weekly Rag

The Crazy Horses. 2006 Champions. The Doggs. 2004 and 2006 Champions. The Lizards. Well, let's not get carried away just yet. This is just to prove a point. The Lizards have been going under the radar, not only in the EHBA, but in the city of Las Vegas itself. The team was aware of their place in the city from the beginning.

"When we started the season it was in the middle of the Crazy Horse's season. They were defending champs and we were a first year franchise. Of course we're going to be overlooked. We expected it. We were ok with it...at first," then back up point guard Mike Conley told the EHssociated Press back in December. Conley wasn't the only one that assumed the worst.

"We knew we were going to have to impress the fans of this city right off the bat and it was going to be tough. We put together a pretty good team in the draft and I thought that with the players we had we could do great things in this city. Needless to say, it was a tough start," head coach Charles Barkley stated in a recent interview with EHSPN.

A tough start it was. The Lizards lost the season, and home opener to the Deathpiggys of Montreal 7-2. They then moved into Fitch Foo Fighters' territory and slightly redeemed themselves, winning 6-3 on the road, only to come back home the following week and lose 6-2 and 7-2 in back to back home games.

"It was embarrassing. I remember seeing fans leave toward the end of the week 3 game against Colorado. And I don't mean just a few fans here and there, I mean the entire stadium. The janitors were sweeping the aisles before the final buzzer. I swear I heard one of them ask us to leave so they could start mopping up. That hurt," Pau Gasol told me in a recent phone interview.

The Stardust University Crazy Horses made a big trade during that game, sending away their franchise quarterback and star running back for a new look offense. This didn't help the Lizards one bit.

"The media spent a whole month analyzing that trade. I don't think anyone even realized we [the Lizards] existed anymore for that time period," said Barkley.

The Lizards went 4-5 in the following 9 weeks. In that time they played 7 home games, not one of which had a live fan base of more than 20% the stadium's capacity.

In week 14, the Lizards started a 5 week road trip. Beginning in Peoria and moving onto Colorado, Tijuana, Rakeville, and Minnesota. No one was looking forward to the trip, especially after losing at home to the Foo Fighters the week prior.

"There's not too much to do in any of those places. We're kinda spoiled by the city we play in I guess, but no one on the team skis so Colorado will just be cold, especially this time of year, we're all too afraid to go out in Tijuana to be honest, Rakeville has a couple historic sports stadiums and museums I guess, but after that we'll just spend all our free time in the Mall of America before heading home. It's not too enticing of a road trip to say the least," remarked injured center Greg Oden in an interview back on January 27th.

Perhaps it was the normal schedule the kept rather than their normal Vegas schedule. Maybe it was the lack of entertainment on the road. Just maybe it was the fact that the players and coaches were sick of losing every other game. Whatever it was, something sparked the Lizards on that road trip. They finished up that 5 game trip away from home 5-0, outscoring their opponents on their own floors 29-14.

It didn't stop there. Once they finally returned home they were greeted by a full stadium of fans for their match up against the highly seeded Boston Danawolves. The Lizards' players were energized by the crowd, by their coaches, and by themselves. They went on to dominate the Danawolves 9-0, posting the first perfect game in EHBA history. On their home court no less. In front of a full house. Simply amazing.

The Lizards continued their winning streak in week 20, beating the Dublin Brawlers at home 5-3. This win put them in the drivers seat for one of the last two playoffs spots in the EHBA. With just one week left, the Lizards are more in control than all season.

The Lizards' staff has been hard at work the last two week doing everything they can to keep this team running strong. They've brought in nine new players and three new trainers in the past two weeks, hoping to keep that fire burning through the end of the regular season and hopefully into the playoffs. All they have to do is hold off the Tokyo Vegans in Vegas and the Lizards are in the playoffs. A script couldn't be written better that what is happening to this team. Once ruled out of playoff contention, the Lizards now hold the keys to their own destiny.

Max Powers is a writer for the Reno Weekly Rag. He enjoys jalapeño poppers, but hates jalapenoes. Go figure.

Rakeville Times: Center of Attention

2008-03-10T21:20:00.003-04:00

Al Horford rises above defenders to pull down a rebound. He is one of three blue-collar centers who have propelled Rakeville to the top of the EHBA.

Center of Attention
By Aviator McShadeless, Rakeville Times

Their names rarely top the sports page, and their game is often overlooked by their opponents, but the trio of centers in the Crows front court have been anchoring Rakeville’s meteoric rise through the standings while the high scoring forwards and franchise point guard garner the praise.

In the wake of a 8-1 victory over fellow playoff contender Colorado, Samuel Dalembert, Andrew Bogut and Al Horford are finally getting the recognition they deserve. Taking on arguably the best front court in the EHBA, the Crows big men out blocked, out rebounded and out worked the star-studded lineup of Tim Duncan, Dwight Howard and Brad Miller.

“They are the workhorses of this team,” said Guard Steve Nash. “They allow us guards to play fast and loose on defense knowing that there is a defensive wall behind us. If you’re going to score on our front court, you’re going to earn it.”

Taken with the 90th pick in the draft, Dalembert has led the charge toward the postseason. He is fourth among all centers in blocks, and leads Rakeville in rebounding with his tenacious work in the paint.

“We knew we were getting a shot blocker in Dalembert, but the points and intangibles have been a huge bonus,” said team president Tim Legler. “It is why we are a playoff team, and championship contender.”

Those words couldn’t be said earlier in the season, but now Rakeville has locked up a playoff spot and are only 2.5 games out of a bye. With cellar dwellers Tijuana and Fitchburg remaining on their schedule, slipping past Boston and Dublin for the second spot may be a reality.

“People look at the schedule and think we have it in hand,” said Forward Rashard Lewis. “Nothing is guaranteed in this league. A lot of people though playing us was a sure win a few months ago. I don’t want to make that mistake too. The Foo Fighters can play, and the Madadors are tough. Much tougher than that other Tijuana team who are changing their name. Sissies.

Rakeville Times: Push in your chips

2008-01-25T00:53:00.001-05:00

Steve Nash drives the lane, and his team towards a shot at the playoffs. Can the surly Canadian sharpen his new porcelain teeth on the parquet?

Push in your chips
by Aviator McShadeless, Rakeville Times

All it took was a chipped tooth to propel the Crows back into the playoff hunt. Early in a game against Peoria, Rakeville point guard and growing cancer, Steve Nash, received a blow in the face, chipping a tooth. The injury peaked his frustration. Nash, who demanded a trade weeks earlier, threw aside all restraints and took out his anger on the Bricklayers defense.

“He exploded in a way I’ve never seen a player explode before,” said coach and general manager Tim Legler. “There was so much anger for our team as much as our opponents. I wasn’t sure if he was going to turn on our own guys. It had been such a hard season for him, and I thought this was the beginning of a mental breakdown.”

Mental breakdown? More like a five game winning streak. Nash’s fiery response enlivened the young, timid Crows. Down 3-6 heading into the second half, Nash shot lights out. When he was double or triple teamed, he would fire passes to his teammates with a sneer.

“I was afraid to miss,” said Gerald Wallace, Rakeville’s burgeoning small forward. “He didn’t want to get rid of the ball, so we had to prove it was worth the effort or receive his little fist in our face… or chest. He probably can’t reach that high.”

Rakeville went on to win 5-4, their first win of the season. After the game, and a few beers later, Nash had calmed down.

“For the first time I realized we had EHBA caliber players on this team,” said Nash recounting the turnaround. “They just need to be taught how to win.”

Nash called a team meeting the next day and apologized for his behavior the night before, and the weeks before. He dedicated himself to the team, rescinding his demand for a trade. He then critiqued his fellow teammates in a way that only a savvy veteran could do.

“I tell them what I want for them,” said Legler, “but Nash could tell them how they could work together to reach those goals. He is the engine of this offense, and he knows where the parts should be.”

Rakeville when on to upset the first place Colorado Bears the next game, then later the first place Minnesota CoreyWolves enroute to five straight wins. Along with Nash and “The Bullet” Rashard Lewis, Gerald Wallace and Jason Richardson established themselves as stars in the league, with Center Andrew Bogut knocking on the door.

“I knew someone would emerge in this field of talented players, but I never thought three would,” said Legler. “We have a playoff team now.”

Rakeville Times: Rivertown's Nightmare

2007-11-24T12:42:00.000-05:00

Rakeville guard Rashard Lewis has been tearing up the EHBA, but his supporting cast leaves a lot to be desired. Can "The Bullet" and Steve Nash get this team back on track or are the Crows better off flying for the hills?

Rivertown's Nightmare
By Aviator McShadeless, Rakeville Times

When Rakeville sports mogul Dave Claffey fronted the money for a Basketball team in the city, he thought he would have a world-class product. Instead, his team has failed to win a game this season and prospects for a victory in the near future are dwindling. The Crows highest paid player, Steve Nash, is demanding a trade and young superstar Rashard Lewis won’t be far behind. Almost nothing has gone right for the Crows.

Many point to the team’s lack of coaching staff, bare bones front office, and complete lack of a scouting department as the major causes for Rakeville’s ineptitude. Team President Tim Legler has been given the absurd responsibility to manage the roster, run the franchise and act as head coach with only interns from Rakeville University to help him.

“I’ve never been on such a poorly run team,” said Crows point guard Steve Nash, who demanded a trade after the week 3 loss to Tokyo. “I came to the EHBA to win a championship at the highest level, but I don’t think this team will ever win in my playing lifetime. It’s Montreal or bust for me.”

Nash is the senior man on a young, underperforming roster, but with owner Dave Claffey saying he can only sign six players to a long-term deal this offseason, any hope at building a solid young foundation is void.

“Legler is in a horrible position,” said Mike Canels, a WRAK analysis. “How do you tell your veterans to hang on when half of the young talent will be gone in the off season? He can’t trade for anybody, for the same reason. He is between a rock and a hard place.”

On a brighter note, Rakeville’s four big men (Horford, Bogut, Yi and Dalembert) have created a nickname for themselves. They refer to themselves as the “Four Corners.” A delightful twist on a dreadful season.

The Death Piggys are coming...

2007-10-26T16:41:00.000-04:00

Be Afraid, EHBA. Be very afraid. The Death Piggys are coming...